Page 69 of Sweet Siren
"He married me because he felt sorry for me. We'd been friends since childhood and we got on well. I knew what he was. I was his respectable wife even though my family was not...not without shame. We were poor, my family was so awfully poor after...after my father lost his wealth. My mother became an addict to laudanum. Living in her own sweet oblivion, she had no care for any of us. Not Father, not me. She was quite insane. We had to put her in restraints so that she wouldn't bite her flesh and chew her handsoff."
"Oh,sweetheart."
"No!" She seethed and slashed the air with one hand. "No. I won't have your pity. I don't need it. You take itback."
He winced, concern lining hisbrow.
"Oh, that's what I am now to you. As crazy as she was?" She inhaled and cinched her sash tighter. "Well, I'm not. I'm stronger than that. Than she was. And that'swhy—"
He cocked hishead.
"Why I value my independence. What I do is for me and for Camille. I make my own reputation. Not live off anyman's."
Heblanched.
"I had to live in the shadow of my father's. The shadow of David's. I won't live in yours,either."
He cursed, a whisper of incredulity. "You are ashamed ofme."
She stepped toward him. "What?Are youmad?"
He shot from his chair and plunked the glass on the table. Approaching her, he stood before her and crossed his massive arms. "I've noted when we're out together how you search for anyone you might know. You're afraid, Liv, of anyone seeing you with me. And today, far from home, that man recognizedyou."
"Yes." She admitted it.Damn thetruth.
His jaw worked. His eyes lost their glitter. He dropped his arms to his sides and ran a weary hand through his hair. He whirled, picked up his frock coat and headed for thedoor.
She raced to him to grab his arm. More words—more horrifying words—clogged in herthroat.
He shook her off but looked down at her, his face white. "I can't change who I was. The same as you can't change your past. But I've tried. So have you. Still you don't see it. But think on this: Over the years, one thing I have learned is that love can do a damn sight more to make us happy than pride evercould."
"I am proud of you. But it's not pride that made me refuseyou."
"Whatthen?"
She wrung her hands. “Fear. Failure to tell you thetruth.”
“So then,” he drew near with anger in his words, “you trust me with your body…and perhaps even your heart, but not with thetruth?”
“Oh, Killian!” She clenched her fists in a rage of sorrow. “My maiden name is Emley.Emley.”
He went white. Only his eyes searched the room, her family name a silent repetition on hislips.
She could not bear to watch him absorb the tragedy of it. “Pleasego.”
“No.” He reached forher.
She avoided him and hurried to the door. She whirled to face him “Now.”
He stared at her. Then at once, as if electrified, he strode toward her. “We will talk aboutthis.”
She opened the door. “Talk changesnothing.”
"It’s theonlything that changes people.” He strode right up to her, his hands clutching her shoulders. “I told you once that the past was a landscape I could not change. I won’t try. But we can have a future—and I can make that bright.” He pulled her close, kissed the crown of herhead.
But she steppedbackward.
“Very well. We are notdone.”
“We were finished before webegan.”
“No. I only hope we have enough years left so that I can make amends for all the pain I caused you. I will ensure, my darling, that you let metry."
