Page 13 of Miss Harvey's Horribly Lovable Fiancé
"Yes. For the wrong reasons. In the wrong ways."
Esme knew what Fifi thought of her. Competitive, unnaturally so and driven to it by her mother. “When I was a child, I was silly. I was a fool, striving to be other than I am. I wanted to be like you. Competent. Strong. Resourceful."
Fifi stifled a laugh. "I assure you, Esme, whatever you saw was not strength."
"Mama told me it is."
That made Fifi sit taller in her chair. "Esme, if your mother saw me as strong, it was afaçade."
"That I do not believe. Mama has not told me details.”She didn’t have to. I could see for myself that your parents were bitter toward each other. And that your father was a braggart, a bully and perhaps many things worse.“She has shared with me her own thoughts and fears about what you endured at home. Today, I wish to leave behind the many things I did wrong as a child. One of those is trying to compete with you. Oh, the others, too, but mostly you. I thought you superior in all things. French, arithmetic, tapestry, card games."
Fifi snorted. "Esme, believe me when I say that French and tapestry are useful skills. Cards, not at all!"
"You did not accept me."
"Oh, now that is true. And for that, I must make amends to you. We all were too critical. A clan of young girls. By shunning you, then ignoring you, we urged you on. It was also very childish of us. And wrong. I am long overdue to admit it and I hope to bring it up with the others so they can make amends as well."
"That is not necessary, Fee. I came today to make my peace with you. I want to begin my new life with a clear mind."
Fifi reached out and took her hand. "I know you will."
“And as for Northington?” This last element was the most critical with Fifi. She wished no ill feelings between them because she loved the same man as her cousin. “Oh, Fee, I want you to know that I never flirted with him or continued our relationship because I knew you favored him."
"That's good for your sake and his." Fifi said that with an equanimity that eased Esme’s worries.
"Mama did tell me that you cared for him and she wondered if you would be angry at my betrothal to him. I hope you're not."
"No, Esme, I'm not. Truly."
"Did you care for him?" She caught her breath, fearful that was so.
"It turns out that I did not." She had a secretive smile.“You are not the only one who needs to correct the errors of her ways."
"Thank you for this. I hope now you and I can truly be friends."
"Friends and cousins. A good combination," Fifi said.
"Will you take tea?" Esme asked, smiling broadly in relief.
"I will."
Esme clasped her hands with delight. "With good pastries and cakes?"
"You know me well!"
Esme rose to ring the bell.
As she returned to her seat, Fifi said, “Will you tell me how you met Northington?"
"It's a short tale," Esme sat down, tickled to reveal such tidbits with Fee.
"How so?"
She had to admit her fascination with him to someone. Why not her cousin whose acceptance she’d always wanted? Sharing secrets seemed a good way to begin. “I loved him the instant I put eyes on him. Can you imagine?"
Fifi sighed. “I can, Esme. Indeed, I can."
“Is it that way for you with Charlton?"
