Page 59 of Lord Ramsey's Red-Headed Ruin
“Exactly,” Amber said with vehemence. “And now nothing like that will happen again.”
“You will stop such things from occurring?” Gus taunted her.
Amber gave them a secretive smile. “I will.”
Gus fumed. “Even you cannot have the audacity to expect a dinner party and a ball will set any of us free from Vaillancourt’s determination to have you as his own.”
Ram, who had stood in the same spot throughout this scene like a marble statue, closed his eyes.
“No,” Amber said. “It is the beginning.”
“Of what?” Gus asked.
Amber had always known who she was and what she wanted. Today, what she wanted was far from her ability to obtain. Life and love with Ram would never be hers now. She had lived too long and worked too diligently for the overthrow of greedy, rapacious men. They now returned to destroy all whom she loved. Her friends. Her sister, in all but name. Anyone else she had worked with, they would kill. And now, given this chance, she would stop them. For if she ran, if she went away with Ram and turned her back, Vaillancourt would eliminate them all. By torture, by any means, the man was capable of the most heinous crimes. She would not allow that to happen. If she could stop him, delay him, at worst mollify him, she’d do it. She would find his list of her associates, steal it, destroy it. Then she would encourage any to run, to hide, to await his total destruction—or with her, to work toward it.
She got to her feet. To her dismay, she did so with a hesitation that gave away her despair at what she did now.
Ram saw it and growled at how she wavered. She could not allow him to see any more justification.
She licked her lips. “I will open up my house. Receive guests. Return to the work only I can do. Examine what is left, what needs repair, what needs addition. I will invite Society to my door.”
She blanched, suddenly weak.
Ram cursed, then shot forward and took her arm. “Tell them. Do it quickly and we will leave.”
Amber raised her head, blind to their outrage—and her own deathly fear. She would never tell anyone about the list. Only the means to obtain it. “I will become Vaillancourt’s mistress.”
Gus was out of her chair. “No.”
Kane was beside her, ferocious in his disbelief. “Why that, of all things?”
“Because it is the only way the man will leave everyone alone. Because it is what he has wanted for years, even before Maurice and I met. I have refused Vaillancourt time and time again. He grows more ruthless as he grows more powerful. He will not be denied.”
“Amber,” Gus pleaded, “do not do this!”
Kane looked at Ram. “What say you to this?”
Ram stood, angry and hopeless. “Whit, whatever can be said, I have argued. To no avail. Amber refuses. In this matter, I am without power. Though I wish to God I had it all.”
Amber looked each one of them in the eye, then turned and walked away. She could do no more. Say no more. Drained, she had to leave this house and all in it.
Behind her, she heard footsteps.
She had gotten to the landing when Gus caught her arm and spun her around. “Don’t do this. Do not throw your life away. You are young. Vaillancourt will hurt you. Defile you. Destroy all you have built. Do not reappear. Someone will rebuild thenetwork that you and I can no longer serve. Trust in that. Live your life. I detect Lord Ramsey wants you to live it with him.”
Amber stood her ground, unable to stop the tears that silently streamed down her cheeks. “I would do it, too. Accept Ram’s offer of…life and love. Especially love. But I know of what Vaillancourt is capable. You only know a small bit. I will not have you hurt.”
Gus tugged at her. “He cannot hurt me now. Kane will not permit it.”
Amber rounded on her. “Do not believe it. Where evil lives, it is capable of destroying the finest, the fairest, the worthiest of any of us. Each of us fights with the weapons we have. You have your own skills, your knowledge of what you and I and our network has done. You have Kane, who has another entire cadre to support him. Use it. Employ it. Never abandon it. As I will not abandon what I know, what I have, what I must do to strengthen the work I have done and what I will leave behind. I must fight as I can. For the love of a freedom I can only imagine. For you to live in the love that can bring you peace and joy.”
“Amber, you told me once never to fail to take love where you find it.”
She caught Gus close and ran her fingertips through her friend’s hair. “I did.”
“You can again.”
“Could? Might. Should not. Cannot.” She felt a stab of weakness and gazed back in the direction of the study and Ram. Oh, if she could have him and her good conscience as well, she would leave all others behind without a second glance. “Perhaps one day I might take the love I’m offered and live in peace. But that day is not this one.”
