Page 36 of My Revenant
None of that was even the worst part. No. The worst part, the absoluteworstpart of it all was that Dex Weller had me pinned down on the dirty floor of a diner—both of us covered in scalding coffee, with me trapped by his stupid fucking strength—andI got hard. Just popped a fucking shame boner right then and there beneath him.
My dick and I really needed to have a chat about what the fuck it was doing. Waking up for Dex Weller in my weird little fantasies when I was in my bed alone was one thing, but inpublicduring a fuckingfightwas entirely another.
“It seems my rabbit likes being held down.”
His low gravelly voice circled around in my mind, and I couldn’t help the frustrated shout that escaped me in response.Whose fucking rabbit? Not yours, asshole. Never yours.
“Jonah!” Becca grabbed my arm and turned me toward her. I shrugged her off, but she grabbed me again. “Nuh-uh, not this time. You are not getting out of explaining this. What the fuck is the matter with you?”
“I don’t know, okay?” I yanked myself out of her grip. “I can’tthinkwhen he’s around. He pisses me off so much I can’t control myself.”
Becca gave me a long stare, and I couldn’t meet her gaze, worried somehow she would see too much. She always saw too much. Ididn’t even know what I was hiding from her, but whatever these feelings were inside me, they were private, and shameful, and much too big. That’s why I couldn’t help but explode whenever Dex was in close proximity.
“Oh, sweetie.” Becca sighed, and that pissed me off more. I pulled away from her and continued on my way. She followed me. “Let’s go get you cleaned up, but then we’re talking about this properly. Also, you are absolutely going back to the diner to apologize to Amanda. There’s no way I’m letting you get us banned from that place.”
“Now, I’m gonna hold your hand when I tell you this, but you’reintoDex,” Becca told me as we sat on my bed, like that wasn’t the most ridiculous thing she had ever said in her entire fucking life.
“That’s not funny.” I scowled at her, snatching my hand back to continue drying my hair with my towel, pleased it no longer smelled of coffee after my shower. I’d told her,mostly, about whatever was going on with Dex and me. Of course, I left out the part where I’d almost kissed him at the party last weekend. Before he rejected me. It was a drunken mistake, one I wouldn’t be making again, and it wasn’t relevant to this, because although I might have thought about it often in the safety of my own mind, I definitely would never attempt it again.
“I’m not joking, JJ. You’re into him. Like alot.”
“Ihatehim,” I corrected her.
“You can be into people you hate.”
I stared at her, processing that. I guess maybe you could, and maybe I was. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. It’s never happening. I’d rather kill him than fuck him.”
Becca smiled. “God, that’d be some hot sex, though, right? All mean and rough and intense. Yum.”
She fanned herself with her hand. I dried my hair more vigorously, letting the towel curtain my face to hide the heat rising to my cheeks. Again my mind flashed to the way he’d pinned me to the ground, and again something hot twisted inside me.No. Bad dick.
“Maybe you just need to fuck it out of your system,” she dared to add, and I let the towel drop so I could glare at her. She actually seemed serious.
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s it. Besides, aren’t you the one who told me to stay away from him?”
“Well, yeah, and I stand by that, because look at the absolute dumpster fire you become when you’re anywhere near him. But I’m not saying you should date the guy. Just have some absolutely filthy sex and then close that chapter for good.”
I glared at her, mouth opening to retort, but no words would come. I settled for glaring some more instead.
“Holy shit, you totally want to!” she basically squealed, and more heat rose to my cheeks.
“I do not!”
“Do too.”
“Do not.”
“Do too.”
“No!”
“Yes!”
I threw my damp towel at her, and she laughed as she caught it and flung it to the other side of my room.
“We are soooo getting you laid.”
“Shut up! No, we are not! Plus, he fucking hates me too.”
