Page 31 of Torn
I took his hand and led him through the living room, past the bath, and into the bedroom.
Here, the curtains remained open, and a blinking light across the street repeated “Chemists” over and over. Tonight I was not feeling exhibitionistic, as I had in Brighton, so I pulled the draperies closed.
The room was bathed in almost complete darkness.
Now, know this about me—up until this point I had not been a fan of sex in the dark. The thought of it seemed puritanical, steeped in shame, a way of hiding. I’d always liked all the lights. I wanted to see what I was getting. I liked bearing witness to a man thrusting above me, watching his desire peak, observing his features contorting as he surrendered to ecstasy.
There was something about this darkness tonight that simply felt right. As it melted and our eyes adjusted, I could just make out Walt’s tall frame, standing close. It was as though he’d stepped out of an old black-and-white movie, bathed in silver.
And what was more romantic than that?
“Undress for me,” I said, my words coming out somehow stronger in the shadows that had gathered in the room.
I watched as he slowly peeled off the white button-down shirt that practically glowed, as though it retained the illumination from the street lamps outside. The shadows, rather than hiding the definition of his chest and stomach, defined them, making them stand out. “Everything?” he asked.
“Everything.”
He undid the fly of his jeans, button by button, until at last I saw that he, too, had opted to go commando tonight. His cock popped out as though aching for release.
“Shoes too.”
He kicked off his sneakers, which disappeared into the gloom in the corners.
At last, he stood naked before me.
“On the bed.” I pointed. He backed a little, until the mattress hit him behind the knees. And then, very gracefully, he went over backward on the bed. He lay spread-eagled, and his eyes, staring, glimmered like topaz.
I moved toward him with no intention on my part of removing even one stitch. Tonight had become a night for new things. In the past, I swear I could have won contests if the aim was to see who could get undressed the quickest. I was usually out of all of my clothes at only the slightest provocation.
But tonight, perversely perhaps, I could imagine nothing sexier than me, fully clothed, with a man, fully naked.
I knelt between his spread legs and began by worshipping his feet.
A lot happened that night, and much of it was new. Darkness. The wonderful contrast of being clothed while my partner was naked. And me topping Walt at last.
I guess I did have to remove a bit of clothing, after all.
WHEN ITwas over and we lay gasping on top of the plaid comforter, our eyes making of the room a movie set from the 1940s, Walt said, “I hate to go all the way back to the hostel.”
“Are you really staying in a youth hostel?”
“Well, it’s actually a dorm room at the London School of Economics. They rent them out when school’s not in full session to poor travelers like me.” He grinned. “But it’s all the way over in Islington, a long train journey by night. Who knows what could happen to me? I could be beaten or raped.”
“I think you just were.”
“Oh, honey, no, you can’t rape the willing. And I wasverywilling.” He smiled.
“I noticed.”
He yawned, leaning farther back into the pillows. “My… it’s such a long, long way. And who knows how frequently the trains run at this hour. Didn’t you say the St. James’s station closed at eleven?”
“I said nothing of the sort, but you may be right. You’re terrible at hinting. But, as much as I’d like to, I can’t let you stay here. My friend shares this bed with me.”
“And he’s only just a friend.” Walt snorted.
“Yes! Yes, there’s just the one bed, as you can see. I very much doubt he’ll stay out the night, even he did happen to get as lucky as I did.”
Walt sat up. “You’re really going to force me out into the dangerous big-city night?”
