Page 41 of After Everything
Believing I deserve happiness too
Not punishing myself forever
Things I want:
To help more clients
To rebuild my reputation (slowly)
To wake up without the weight of guilt
To stop looking for her in every woman on the street
To forgive myself
I stared at the last one for a long time.
To forgive myself.
Dr. Reeves said that would be the hardest part. That I could apologize to Emma, make amends to everyone I'd hurt, rebuild my entire life from scratch… but none of it would matter if I couldn't forgive myself.
And I didn't know how to do that yet.
I set my phone aside and finished my cold Chinese food. Tomorrow I had three client meetings and a court filing due. The day after that, two consultations and a pro bono case for a woman trying to escape an abusive marriage.
Normal things. Good things. The kind of work that made me feel like maybe I was contributing something to the world instead of just taking from it.
Emma had moved on. Built a life I wasn'tpart of. Become someone amazing without me.
And maybe that was exactly what needed to happen.
Maybe the best thing I could do—for her, for me, for everyone—was to let her go. Stop hoping for a second chance I didn't deserve. Stop thinking about what could have been if I hadn't been so monumentally stupid.
Just let her be happy.
Even if that happiness didn't include me.
I cleaned up the takeout container, brushed my teeth, and went to bed.
And tried not to think about the fact that she'd smiled when she checked her phone.
Smiled at a text from someone who wasn't me.
Someone who probably deserved her more than I ever had.
CHAPTER 14: DAVID
"Mr. Harrison, please. You have to help me."
Maria Rodriguez sat across from my desk, her hands twisted in her lap, eyes red from crying. She was thirty-four, mother of two, and terrified. Her husband had put her in the hospital twice in the last year. The restraining order hearing was in two weeks.
And I had nothing.
"I have the police reports," I said, keeping my voice calm even though I wanted to put my fist through the wall. "And the hospital records from last year. But Maria, we need recent documentation. Medical evidencethat shows the pattern of abuse. Without it, the judge might not grant the order."
"I have pictures." She pulled out her phone with shaking hands. "From last week. He… he pushed me down the stairs. I didn't go to the hospital because I was scared he would find out. But I took pictures."
She showed me her phone. Bruises on her arms, her ribs, her back. Dark purple and yellow, clearly recent. My stomach turned.
