Page 67 of After Everything
She'd said yes.
She'd actually said yes.
I sat down at my desk and just breathed for a minute.
Saturday. Three days from now. I had three days to figure out what to say, how to say it, how to tell her everything I needed to tell her without overwhelming her or asking for more than she could give.
Three days to prepare for the most important conversation of my life.
I closed my email and headed home.
For the first time in three years, I let myself hope.
CHAPTER 21: EMMA
"You don't have to go."
Jess's voice came through the phone speaker while I stared at my closet like it held answers instead of clothes.
"I know."
"I'm serious, Emma. You can text him right now and say you changed your mind. He'd understand."
I pulled out a blue sweater, held it up, put it back. Too dressy. "I don't want to change my mind."
"Okay." A pause. "Why not?"
I sat down on the edge of my bed. That was the question, wasn't it? Why had I saidyes? Why was I putting on jeans at nine-thirty on a Saturday morning to have coffee with the man who'd shattered my life three years ago?
"I don't know," I admitted. "Closure, maybe? Or just... curiosity."
"Curiosity about what?"
"About whether he's actually different. Or if I've just been seeing what I want to see." I picked at a thread on my comforter. "Nine months of case referrals, Jess. Eighteen DV survivors. He's been doing this work consistently, showing up for people who need him. That means something."
"It means he's good at his job now. Doesn't mean he won't hurt you again."
"I know that."
"Do you?" Her voice was gentle but firm. "Because Emma, I was there. I watched you fall apart. I slept on your couch for two weeks because you couldn't be alone. And I love you, which means I'm terrified of watching you go through that again."
My throat tightened. "I'm not getting back together with him."
"Then what are you doing?"
"Having coffee. Listening to what he has to say. That's it." I stood up, grabbed the blue sweater again. "I can leave whenever I want. I'm in control here."
"Okay." Jess didn't sound convinced, but she didn't push. "Call me after?"
"I will."
"And Emma? If he says anything that feels like manipulation or excuses or blaming you?—"
"I'll walk out. I promise."
"Good. Love you."
"Love you too."
