Page 60 of Waiting to Lose
HIS EYES FLICKED open to a dark room. He must have slept the entire day. His head felt heavy, but nothing like before. He slowly rose off the bed and reached to his left to turn on the lamp. As his eyes began to focus, he realized he desperately needed to remove his contacts.
He trudged to the bathroom and waited for the flickering light to steady. He regarded himself in the mirror and almost didn’t recognize who he saw. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his hair was plastered to his scalp like he’d sweat through the night. He gently pulled the contacts from his eyes and flicked them in the trash. He opened his case and slid his glasses onto his face, happy that the soreness in his eyes was dissipating. After he relieved himself, he slipped on a pair of underwear and his sweats, and slumped on the corner of the bed.
As he sipped a drink of water, his phone buzzed. He must have switched it to vibrate. It was Rob.
“Hey, Rob. Is everything okay?”
“You piece of shit. It’s about time you answered your phone!”
“What?” Jake asked, mostly out of shock.
“You know, I’ve known you for almost fifteen years, and I never had you pegged. I always thought I was a good judge of character. I guess I was wrong.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jake asked as he jerked upright.
“Oh, you don’t know your little show made the Internet?”
“My little show? You mean the concert?”
“No, I mean your little show after the mother fucking concert.”
“I was sick. Did someone film me or something?” Jake asked as he slouched back onto the bed, placing the palm of his hand against his forehead.
“Please… It’s pretty clear from the angles that someone was up close. I’m sure you noticed them in the room with you. Youaresick. She deserves better, Jake. She didn’t deserve this.”
Jake hurdled from the bed. “What? Who didn’t deserve this? Madi? Is she okay? What happened?”
“It’s all over the Internet. Look for yourself.”
“Hold on.”
Jake hit the web browser on his phone and Googled his name. Picture after picture appeared of him lip-locked and naked with Allison Gregory. Jake gasped as he skimmed one article after another.Rumors are true! Photos to prove it. Jake Morgan is off the market, ladies! Eat your hearts out!
“What… the fuck… Oh my God. I never—I don’t remember. I wouldn’t…”
Jake put the phone to his ear. “Did she see? Does she know?”
“Oh yeah, she knows. I heard her puking for fifteen minutes straight before I had to carry her lifeless body back to her room. She cried for three hours. Three fucking hours, you asshole. If I weren’t still concerned for her safety, I’d fly out there and rip your heart out, the way you did to her.”
“I didn’t… I couldn’t have… Rob, I swear to you on my life, I didn’t. I mean, I don’t remember. I was sick. I couldn’t see or stand or even think. I would never cheat on her. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.”
“What are you trying to say? The pictures were doctored?”
“Yes… No… I mean, I don’t know!” Jake frantically paced his room. He could feel his eyes begin to swell. He was so confused.
“Are you fucking with me right now? Because I don’t recommend it. I’m really angry with you.”
“Do you really not know me at all? I’m telling you that I don’t remember any of it! How could this have happened? I was sick and then… I don’t know… but I wouldn’t have cheated! It’s not me. I’m not like that!” Jake shouted into the phone as his voice became more frantic and angrier with every word.
“Calm down. What do you mean you don’t remember? Jake? Are you there?”
Jake picked up a lamp and threw it across the room, shattering it onto the floor. He slammed his fist repeatedly into the wall.
“Jake? Jake, listen to me. Are you there?”
Jake pressed the phone to his ear as his hand dripped with blood. He didn’t care, even though he should. His hands were his life—that is, theywerehis life, until now. At that moment it became clear.Shewas his life. Nothing else mattered.
“Jake?”
