Page 73 of Book Boyfriend
My bottom lip trembles and I clear my throat to keep the tears at bay. I shuffle some papers around on my desk.
“He screwed up. I get that. But you know what? I liked him immediately. I didn’t get a single bad vibe from him. Not one. My meter never went off. Believe me when I say I watched for a reason not to trust him. He was almost too good to be true.”
“He wasn’t true, Luna. That’s the point. He lied. They all lie.”
“No one is perfect and to be honest I was relieved when he screwed up.”
Did I hear her correctly? I laugh sarcastically. “I’m glad it made you happy.”
“Hear me out. Fisher said and did everything just right for too long. Sure he can’t sing or play piano, he’s notthatperfect, but he was damn near close. Tell me you weren’t waiting for the ball to burst?”
I gaze up at her intently. She has my attention.
“In the grand scheme of mistakes, this wasn’t the worst. And his explanation made sense. I think he was telling the truth. I don’t think this was about the movie at all. I think it’s always been about you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I knowyou. I know that it’s easier for you to believe it was all a lie then to believe the man really loves you. All those years I watched you fight for a morsel of love and compassion from Oliver. And those morsels were few and far between. When you got them you gobbled them up like a five course meal, but they were never enough. Then here comes a man who sees just how amazing you are and instead of accepting the meal, you’re still waiting to starve.”
I stand and cross my arms, walking to the window. “I don’t know what you want me to say here. I’m hurt that he lied. I gave him my heart and he used it for a movie role.”
Luna shakes her head. “Do you really and truly believe that’s all it was?”
I shrug.
“I’m not trying to tell you what to do. But I’ve never seen you happier then I have these last few months. And I’m sorry, but I saw the way he looked at you when no one was watching. Men don’t fake that shit unless they have an audience.”
I cover my face with my hands and Luna wraps her arms around me.
“No matter what you decide, I’m here for you. I just had to get that off my chest because I love you.”
“I love you too, Luna.”
We both wipe our eyes and Luna coughs lightly. “Alright, friend time is over. Back to work.”
She trudges out of my office without saying another word. Emotions are hard for her. I’m really blessed to have her in my life. Even though I know she meant well, his lies are still echoing in my head. I don’t know how to get past them or if I ever can. Although, she made a point I hadn’t considered.
Was I waiting for him to mess up so I could run? I want to say it’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, but knowing my track record, she could be right. I think back to all the times I expected him to disappoint me. I was scared he’d hurt me and I was anticipating it every time I saw him. That wasn’t fair to him and yet he never wavered. I do miss him. Should I have given him another chance?
As I sit back down in my chair, my foot kicks the box and it rattles. I’d completely forgotten about it. I wipe my eyes and lift it onto my desk.
There’s lots of bubble packaging. As I unwrap it, I see a taco menu folded around something. I don’t know why tacos and Fisher go hand in hand. I think I just have him on the brain. Inside the menu is a Ziploc bag full of shells. I gasp. The menu is from Florida. My heart constricts as I read the note.
Greer,
I know you’re done with me and I can’t say I blame you. I screwed up. Nothing ruins trust faster than lies, even lies made with the best intentions. I was wrong and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.
I wanted you to know I meant what I said. Meeting you on that beach was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I saved the shells you asked me to put in my pocket that night. I was going to make something out of them for you, but, well, we both know that isn’t going to happen now.
Take care of yourself. If you ever need me, I’ll always be there.
Fisher
The taco menu is from where we ate that night. He kept that too? What kind of guy holds onto seashells for months? I know the answer to that; a sensitive, caring one. A guy who might have actually wanted to remember me. Did he? Was he telling me the truth?
Leaning back in my chair, doubt invades my mind once more. Maybe I gave up too soon. He turned down the role. Why did he do that?
I have questions and I need answers. I pick up my phone and call the only person I trust to tell me for sure.
