Page 27 of Enough
“No need to thank me. I’m always here for you! You’re my very best friend, and I’ll always love you.”
“Don’t make me cry! I’m hormonal!” I laugh through teary eyes.
“Don’t start using that excuse. I’m always hormonal and I don’t cry. All right, talk to you later.”
I stare into the mirror once again. I feel happier than I’ve felt in months. I glance down and speak directly to my belly. “I love you, my little munchkin. Don’t you ever forget it!”
Eight years earlier
GWEN’S HOLDING A sleeping Kale on her lap as we sit at the oak table in my Grandma Kay’s house. I stare at her warily. Her eyes are puffy and she looks like she may start to cry again at any moment.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to take him?” I ask, pointing toward Kale.
“No. I don’t mind. It makes me feel better to know there’s one decent man left in the world, even if he’s only two. He’s so cute, Ev. He’s going to be a little heartbreaker.” She sniffles once more.
Grandma Kay appears from the basement and places the red paint can near the steps, along with three brushes. She moves toward Gwen, and without asking, takes Kale from her and tip-toes off to the bedroom with him.
Gwen sighs and glances toward the brushes. “I don’t need that,” she says, pointing to them.
“Like hell you don’t!” Grandma Kay interjects as she rounds the corner. “You’re like a sister to Ev, so I think it’s only right we make you an honorary London today. We allneed to paint doors. Whether it’s in our minds or literally. When you put a fresh coat of paint on a door, it’s like you’re breathing new life into it. You’re closing one chapter and starting a brand new one. From what Ev told me, Alex was always half a step away from you kicking his ass to the curb. Any man who would cheat on a woman like you deserves to have a door slammed in his face!”
Gwen nods her head. “I don’t think I’m meant to be happy.”
“We create our own happiness in life, Gwenny. It’s like I’m always telling Everly. God deals you a hand of cards. You can play or you can fold, but either way it’s the only hand you’re gonna get. Somewhere along the line, you tossed down your hand and stopped caring about your cards. I say you pick them back up and give ‘em another shot. Maybe you’ll find the cards weren’t that bad to begin with. It’s all about the way you look at life, darlin’. Now stand up, dust yourself off, and put your cards in your pocket. We got a door to paint and a heart to mend!”
I smile at my grandmother. She is the bravest, strongest woman I know. She raised my father by herself when his daddy took off on them when he was four. She never heard from him again. She could have folded her cards, but she didn’t. Instead she worked two jobs and raised an outstanding man and dedicated father. She had to bury her only child, and it almost killed her. She said if it weren’t for me, she might have curled up into a ball and never moved again. I still don’t believe her. I think she just wanted to give me some purpose. She is and always will be my hero.
Gwen stands and places her invisible cards in her back pocket, making Grandma Kay laugh. She wraps her armsaround Gwen, and I wrap my arms around them. I know Gwen will be okay. She’s always been strong. Alex didn’t deserve her.
As we paint the door, Gwen’s expression changes. “Shit…” she says. “I’m not sure if it’s the company or the painting, but this really does work. I feel better already.”
As Grandma Kay runs her brush up the length of the door, I see her smile knowingly. “Every stroke is a memory you cherish or leave behind.”
“How many times has this door been painted?” I ask.
Grandma Kay chuckles. “Oh, I’d say a few. The first time I ever painted it was after Everett’s daddy left. It used to be blue, you know.”
Gwen and I listen intently. “I never knew that,” I say.
“Yep. I painted it red two weeks after he left. At first I thought I was broken. I was scared and alone. But then I decided that if I painted it a different color, Everett’s drunk, lousy daddy might not recognize it and keep on moving. As I was painting, I had a little conversation with my soul. We decided I was gonna be okay. This door has gotten a lot of people through a lot of heartache. I think it’s pure magic.”
Gwen smiles as she swipes the fresh red on the door.
Grandma Kay continues, “Some men need to move along and some need to stay. The key, ladies, is recognizing a keeper when you see him.”
“Is Mike a keeper?” I ask her.
“Oh, songbird, only you can answer that question.”
“I knew Alex wasn’t a keeper,” Gwen says as her lips curl into an angry frown. “And dammit, I married him anyway. Never again. I will never settle again!”
“Amen, Gwenny. Amen!” I watch Grandma Kay andGwen tap brushes, and I smile. Even though my heart doesn’t currently need fixing, painting the door feels like the therapy I didn’t even know I needed.
I SIT AT the kitchen table, biting my nails. The kids have been asleep for almost an hour and Mike still isn’t home from work. He texted me at five thirty to let me know that coming home early wasn’t going to happen. He had a late dinner meeting with some clients who were interested in the marketing strategy he’d been working on for months. I pray to myself that he comes home with good news. It might make my news even sweeter. I stir in my chair. I haven’t been feeling well all day. I know early pregnancy cramps are normal, so I try not to think about it.
It’s almost ten when Roscoe lets me know he hears a noise. I pat him on the head and look into his eyes. “Thank you, Roscoe. What would I do without you?” His tail thumps twice before he refocuses on the door.
Mike steps into the laundry room as I finish my silent prayer.
