Page 98 of Enough
“So if I go into the bathroom for a minute, I can rest assured that you’ll still be here when I come out?”
I sigh. “I’m not leaving. Where exactly would I go?”
“Good point.” He nods then watches me carefully until he’s behind the closed bathroom door.
My eyes dart to his phone again as I bend my wrist to cover my hand with my palm. I know deep down I’m probablymaking something out of nothing. But he’s too perfect. There has to be something he’s hiding. I take a step toward his phone and wonder how many girls text him daily. Then I wonder if he’s seeing anyone besides me. I wonder if he has pictures on his phone of any women, and then I wonder if any of them are in compromising positions. My brain cycles through negative thoughts. I reach my hand out and turn his cell slightly before pulling it back to my mouth. I press the home screen button and a standard phone image appears. I start to pace as I stare at it and wonder if I should just look.
How do I know he’s not playing games with me? Maybe he secretly just wants to get back at me for hurting him all those years ago. I feel myself start to panic when he steps out of the bathroom. His tie is hanging loosely around his open shirt. He’s wiping his hair with a towel, but he stops immediately when he sees my expression.
“What?” he asks knowingly.
“Nothing,” I say as I place my fingers to my mouth. I almost bite my nail but think better of it and fall into the desk chair and sit on my hands. My eyes linger a little too long on his phone and he takes notice.
“Did something happen with my cell?”
“Why?” I question. “Are you waiting for a call from another woman?”
“No…” He smirks. “Do you think I am?”
“I don’t know, are you?”
He tosses the towel onto the bed and crouches down in front of me. “Oh, to know what goes on in that complicated head of yours.”
“You want to know? Okay… right now I’m thinking, Why did he do all this? Why am I here?”
He sighs loudlyand his head drops to his chest. “Are we back to this again?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What’s really going on? Just tell me the truth. Are you worried I’m about to push you into sleeping with me, because that’s not the case, I promise you.” The solid conviction in his tone makes me feel like he’s trying to tell me he doesn’t want me.
I huff. “Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it, Nick. I’m sure having to stay with me throws off all your ‘other’ plans.” I make the quote marks with my fingers in the air.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he commands. He seems confused, but it’s probably just an act.
“How many other women have you done your magic night out on? Am I just one of many?”
His hands lift in question and his brows crease to tell me he thinks I’m ridiculous.
“This must really work on the girls. I bet they fall for it hook, line, and sinker.”
He sighs and shoves his hands into his pockets. “So you think I’ve done this before?”
“Haven’t you? I mean look at you! Why exactly are you single again, Nick? And why exactly am I here with you?”
His hands both simultaneously plow through his hair. He seems frustrated. He takes a deep breath and sits on the bed across from me. “First of all,” he begins calmly. “I’ve never done anything like this before in my life. Second of all, if you want to know if I’m seeing anyone else besides you, then the answer is absolutely not. Thirdly, there is a definitive reason why I’m single, but I’m not sure you’re ready to hear it.”
I swallow hard and start to feel as dumb as I probablysound. I don’t know why I can go from perfectly happy to full of doubt and fear so easily, and I hate myself for it. He’s holding something back from me, and it’s probably because he thinks I’ll run when I hear it. I gaze into his eyes and see myself reflected in them. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I don’t know why I do this. Especially with you. You’ve never given me a reason to doubt you, yet it’s all I do. It’s just… you’re too perfect.”
His brows furrow and he smiles while shaking his head. “I’m so not, babe.”
“I look at you and see your perfectly rock-hard body with your sculpted chin and your muscular arms and your tight ass. You’re smart, successful, fun, and funny. You have so much life inside you and so much to give. It makes me wonder why in thehellyou’re with me.”
He reaches across the space between us and takes my hand in his. “All this,” he says as he motions to his body. “On the outside? It just masks the imperfections on the inside. Do you think I don’t feel insecure at times? Do you think I don’t look at you and wonder whyyou’rehere withme? You wonder why I’m with you? It’s simple, Ever. You’re so fucking strong, fierce, and beautiful. You have a fire inside that propels you through circumstances that would make any less of a woman crumble and fall apart. Yet somehow you stand through it and come out stronger. You don’t accept what life gives you until it gives you what you really want. I’ve always admired that about you.”
“You have?” My chest begins to ache. How can he see so much in me?
“You have no idea how many times I almost gave up on college when we were together. For a while there I was reallystruggling. But you never doubted me, not once, and you made me feel I could do anything as long as I had you by my side. Then you questioned my feelings and like that—” he snaps his fingers “—you were gone. I almost fell apart. But I didn’t because you gave me a glimpse into what I needed in my life.”
