Page 82 of Roll With The Punches
“I know you moving in with your dad full-time happened really fast after we met him. Even from the beginning, he flat-out told me and Jeff that you were his priority and always would be, and if we couldn’t accept that, we didn’t need to go any farther. He even told us there were times he met guys before us, but they weren’t thrilled about him having a kid, so he passed. He putyoufirst. Always. There’s nothing but love in his heart for you as a parent. Unconditional love.”
Now he really was crying. “I can’t begin to tell you what that feels like, because I don’t have it from my parents. I don’t know what it’s like. But I have it from Brandon and Jeff. So instead of lying and trying to get around the rules, you should consider yourself lucky. Excuse me.”
Overwhelmed, he had to retreat to the master bath. There, he stood over the sink, quietly crying.
It startled him when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. Brandon and Jeff both stood there, then enveloped him, their arms around him as he cried.
“Shh, it’s okay,” Brandon whispered. “We’ve got you, boy. You’re all ours, and we love you.”
“I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t realize how hard that would trigger me.”
“It’s okay, buddy,” Jeff assured him. “We know you’ve been holding that back.”
“Let it out,” Brandon gently said. “Don’t hold on to that. That’s why we’re here.”
Once he’d finally gotten himself under control, he sent them back out to finish dinner while he blew his nose and washed his face.
Staring at himself in the mirror, Stuart realized he didn’t even look like himself anymore. The tight, deep lines in his forehead and around the outside of his eyes had eased. He caught himself frequently smiling in a way he never remembered doing while growing up.
He had stopped feeling jumpy when someone called his name, worried that he was going to be yelled at or teased.
He had learned that, at home, he never had to be tense, on guard, careful about what he said.
He could speak his mind without worrying about being ridiculed, or worse.
He could behim.
No, Emma and Grace hadnoidea what it was like to grow up in a house where you had to stay deeply closeted not because it might prove inconvenient to your available time spent with your SO by admitting the truth, but because of legit fear for personal safety.
At the very least, fear of being kicked out and ostracized.
He headed back to the dining room and when he appeared, Emma, then Grace, stood and hugged him.
“I’m really sorry, Stu,” Emma said. “I never thought about it like that.”
“Me, either,” Grace said.
“After you get your shower,” Brandon said to Stuart, “and they get the kitchen cleaned up, you and I will take them to Grace’s and talk to her parents.”
“Not Jeff?”
“I don’t feel good enough, buddy.” He’d barely eaten anything, including the chicken soup they’d heated for him.
“Should you be alone?” Stuart asked.
“I’m going to take a shower and go to bed. I’ll be okay. These meds are doing a number on me, but I guess I don’t have an alternative if I want to beat this.”
