Page 18 of Follow Me
Doug looked understandably confused. “Yes?”
“You shook handsnormallywith me. Both of you did.” She didn’t expect to burst into tears. “Thankyou. Kel treats me like I’m going to break, and that’s made this so much worse.”
Doug leaned in and offered her the box of tissues. She took a couple and blew her nose. “Thank you for treating me…normal,” she said.
Niall’s expression darkened. “Has that been an issue for you?”
She nodded. “At the Halloween party at Seth and Leah’s, before we went he told me no hugs, and he told Leah when we first got there. I told him I was okay, that Iwantedto hug people, but he said no.”
“Because…he was worried people would hurt you?” Niall asked. “Or because he was being territorial?”
“He was worried people would hurt me, even though I told him I was okay. I know he was also worried people would comment on my weight.”
Niall crossed his arms over his chest, his Irish accent returning. “And ye didn’t feel ye could really overrule him, did ye?”
She shook her head. “Igetit. I get why he’s worried. But it’s not helping me right now. Especially when I can’t even get him to reallyhugme. Or anything else,” she muttered.
He slowly nodded and looked at Doug. “Can ye please note that to send me a reminder as a topic of discussion with him?”
“Sure.” Doug jotted it down on his paper.
“I mean, please don’t yell at him over it,” she added. “I don’t want him feeling—”
“Bad,” Niall said. “Ye don’t want him feelingbad, he doesn’t want ye to feel bad, either, an’ ye’re both circlin’ the drain.”
She nodded and started crying again.
There was another knock on the door, and both Niall and Doug said, “Come in.”
Doyle appeared, smiling, then frowning when he spotted her tears. “Did you two sadists start without me? Dammit, that’s not fair.” He flashed her a playful smile.
She couldn’t help it—the look on his face made her laugh, which made her snort and laugh some more…and then she started crying again when she realized how long it’d been since she’d been able tolaughlike this with her friends.
Or…with anyone.
She and Kel used to laugh all the time.
Doyle joined them, sitting on the far end of the couch while Niall took another chair and Doug passed her more tissues.
“Been a rough eighteen months, hasn’t it?” Doyle gently asked.
“Yes, Sir.”
“Doug, you went over the rules?” Doyle asked.
“Yep.” And he filled Doyle in about the handshake.
He sighed. “Well, then I guess we need to get started for today.”
She’d thought they’d want to talk to her about her anorexia, but they actually walked her through her relationship with Kel.
Specifically, their BDSM relationship.
It felt weird talking about this, but it’d been a topic most of her other therapists had stayed far away from, focusing more on the vanilla side of their marriage and treating their M/s dynamic like it was nothing more than a sexual preference, like preferring missionary to doggy style, and not actually their main relationship dynamic.
“I remember your collaring,” Doyle said partway through their discussion. “I was visiting friends in Sarasota and was actually here for it. I also remember one of your vows to him was to protect the property, wasn’t it?”
She nodded, her tears renewed. “To protect what’s His to the best of my abilities,” she quietly said.
