Page 33 of Follow Me
“When are ye goin’ to start workin’ on yer own shite?”
Heat flashed through his face. “Focus onher,notme.”
“But ye need to be workin’ on yer baggage, too.” He slowly shook his head. “Here’s the thing. Part of what we set up is she calls me, Doyle, an’ Doug ‘Sir.’ Ye’ll likely hear her call me an’ Doug that at dinner Sunday night. I want ye ready for that an’ not gettin’ upset about it, or readin’ anythin’ into it that’s not there. I need ye to keep the bigger picture in mind. It’s a title, an honorific, a way for us to tap into that aspect of her personality for us to help guide her.”
Kel slumped back in his chair and struggled to absorb that. “Is she going to divorce me?” he finally asked.
“Did yenothear what Ijustsaid?”
“Whywould she uncollar herself and ask me to stay here at night if sheisn’tgoing to divorce me? It feels like she’s trying to get me there slowly so it doesn’t hurt as much or something.”
Niall muttered what sounded like a string of epithets, but Kel wasn’t sure. He scrubbed his face with his hands and then sat forward. “Listento me. In her heart, she isyourslave. All we’re doin’ is givin’ her a…different focus. One that can help her while not bein’ as emotionally intimate with her. Doug, Doyle, an’ I don’t have a problem callin’ her out for faulty thinking, butyoudo. An’ she can’t call ye out, either.”
“What are you talking about?” Kel asked.
“Halloween. The party. Ye wouldn’t let her hug anyone. That was one of the first breakthroughs we had with her the very first office session, an’ that was because we shook her feckin’hand. She never hugged any staff up in Tampa, but we’re friends. Ofcoursewe’ll hug her, if she wants it. She said ye won’t even touch her.”
“That’s not—”
“Don’t youdarelie to me, man.” It knocked Kel back how quickly Niall’s voice shifted, his accent gone, his tone sounding deep, dark.
Domly.
Kel fought the urge to grab and throw something, anything—his phone, the stapler on his desk.
His fist into Niall’s face.
Kel sucked in a deep breath and forced himself to sit back in his chair. “You haven’t lived through whatIlived through. I’mscaredto hurt her.”
“You carved into her flesh and pierced her, but are afraid tohugher?”
“She’s afucking skeleton! That was, what, over eighty pounds ago, if you count when she had the baby?Halfof her weight she lost, at her worst!”
Niall let that hang on the conversational branch for a moment like fetid fruit overdue a drop to the ground and buzzing with flies.
“Getoverit,” Niall softly said but still in that dark, deeper register and without the softness of his Irish accent. “She’s regaining weight. Yes, she’s still thin, but she’s far stronger than you give her credit for, and she’s not nearly as thin as you seem to think she is. I think you’re stuck remembering her at her worst instead of accurately seeing what she looks likenow. Love her for who she isnow, if youreallylove her. Youwon’thurt her. But youhaveto love her in the ways sheneeds, not the waysyouwant to love her, because thatishurting her.”
“Isthatwhy she did all this? She’s mad because I didn’t let people hug her at Halloween?”
Niall’s eyes dropped closed. “Bloody ijit.”
The accent was back.
“Well?” Kel asked.
“No! Fer chrissake, man, did yenothear a single feckin’ word I just said to ye?”
“Apparently I need a map drawn because I must be stupid.”
“This is why yeneedto come in an’talkto us.”
“We’re talkingnow.”
“We’re talkin’ aboutMalan’ her progressnow,” Niall corrected. “This is a status update, plus an FYI about Sunday. This isn’t therapy for ye, an’ ye need to be workin’ on yer own shite. No man wants his friend comin’ to him and tellin’ him how to own his slave, but I got to tell ye, ye’re either thick, or bein’ willfully blind at this point, if ye won’tlistento me.”
“How amIin the wrong for wanting to take care of her?”
“No one’s sayin’ ye’re wrong. Ye did the best ye could for as long as ye could. It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s the situation. But we’ve found a plan that seems to be workin’, an’ if ye love her as much as ye say ye do, ye should be trippin’ all over yerself to break down our doors to talk and work on yerself now.”
