Page 36 of Follow Me
Except…one thing the recent events had driven home was that they didn’t always have control of the timing of life’s events.
She was done being scared of facing this. She had to face it to make progress. Because she wanted Kel home, with her.
She continued on to the living room to get her purse and keys and head out. It felt weird to be driving again after so long and she realized how much she’d missed it.
One day at a time. One hour at a time. One step at a time.
Only two weeks into this, and she wasn’t stupid enough to think she was magically cured, but she finally feltpeacefulin a way she hadn’t in what seemed like forever. She actually did feel like she was making progress.
Tiny steps, but ones that were carrying her forward.
For the last three months she’d been at the facility, she’d felt…stuck.
Hopeless.
Now? She finally had true hope. Tiny and small, but solid in a way nothing had felt in too damn long.
When she arrived at June and Scrye’s, Doug, Niall, and Aden were already there, but no one else was yet.
“We told everyone else to be here thirty minutes later,” Niall said, wearing a playful smile. “We wanted to give ye a chance to settle in.”
“Thank you. Where’s Etsu?”
“She’s been a little wheezy with whatever’s bloomin’ right now an’ she decided it was safer to stay home. Her asthma’s givin’ her fits. But she kicked both of us out the door.” He smiled.
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Nah, she’s fine, or she would’ve asked one of us to stay.”
She asked what she needed to know. “Is Kel upset?”
Doug shook his head. “No. He took it okay.”
“Really?”
“Really. But what I think will help reassure him is if he sees you eating something tonight.”
She nodded. “I will. I had breakfast, a shake this morning as a snack, along with fruit and nuts, and I ate a salad at lunch with chicken breast and avocado.”
She pulled out her phone and showed them the pictures of it in her tracking app. It felt a little weird not texting them pictures of everything, but the habit had stuck with her to log her food and pictures in her tracker. If she found herself backsliding, she was allowed to start texting them pictures at every meal again.
“Oh?” Niall asked as he took the phone and looked at it. “Excellent.” He showed it to Doug, who nodded, before he returned the phone.
“And I weighed myself after my shower. I’m still holding.”
“Even better,” Doug said.
June looked like she was about to bite her tongue off.
“Please just say it,” Mal told her.
“Ican’t,” June said. “I dealt with enough girls in my life with eating disorders to know nothing I say will make a difference, but it could hurt you. I love you, and I feel helpless.”
If her mom was still alive, Mal wondered if she’d be like June now. “I’ll take a hug,” Mal said. “Arealhug. I know Kel told everyone to be gentle with me, but I won’t break.”
“We hug her,” Doug told her. “She needs hugs. And she’s gained weight since you saw her on Halloween.”
“I know, but…” She sounded exasperated. “I’m a mom. Worrying is what Ido.” June opened her arms to her and started out gentle, but as Mal held on to her, she gradually closed her embrace until it felt like a real hug, for once.
