Page 48 of Follow Me
Simple moments like this.
When they got out he dried her first with a towel, kissing her, worshipping her body, his sweet, beautiful goddess.
After checking the time to make sure they were okay, they got dressed and she sent a quick text, he assumed to Doyle, Niall, and Doug. Then he followed her to the kitchen, where together they made breakfast, Kel letting her tell him what she needed and giving him tasks to do.
He watched her, his gaze never leaving her.
This was more than he could have ever prayed for, and he could only hope his hopes weren’t about to be crushed again.
She ate, that easy feel once again surrounding their meal in a way it hadn’t in over a year.
He wanted to ask if he could drive her to her appointment, but he resisted the urge to do that. Once they had the kitchen cleaned up, he pulled her in for another kiss.
“What do you need from me, right now?” he opted for.
She smiled up at him. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For not launching into a bunch of other questions or assumptions.Thisis exactly what I need from you right now—following my lead.” She played with the collar of his shirt. “I’ll drive myself to my appointment. Doug scheduled it ahead of his lunch hour. Niall’s going to bring us lunch and join us, and we’ll probably call Doyle.”
He slowly nodded and desperately reined in his flash of anger.
The men were not just his friends, but miracle workers.
“Then what?” He made himself say it. “If you’d rather be alone tonight, I understand.”
“I have class with June. I need to get into that again. I really do love yoga with her. And I’m looking forward to learning pole-dancing.”
“I have a…request.”
“Yes, Sir?”
He also ignored that pang—he wouldn’t pester her about her collar. “I’m the only one who gets a private show forthat.”
Shegiggled! The sweet sound shocked him so much he nearly missed what she said next.
“I promise, you’re the only one who would get a private show for that, Sir. And to answer your question, I don’t know. Let me see how I feel later. I’ll call you to talk, at least.”
“Okay.”
She didn’t rush him out the door, but he didn’t bug her or try to delay her as she got ready for her appointment and packed clothes, her yoga mat, and a towel for her class after. At one point he stopped in the hall, outside the nursery door, and stared inside the room.
Shit. Mal wasn’t on the pill yet.
Then again, he knew her periods hadn’t returned yet, either, so maybe it’d be okay. As much as he mourned their baby, he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to try again. They still hadn’t for-sure survived this. Did he really want to risk Mal’s health or his own sanity again?
He didn’t know.
She kissed him good-bye and left for her appointment. Once she’d left, he heavily sat on the couch and stared at the urn.
That day would be forever burned in his memory, the pain, the tears, the feel of her in his arms all bundled up but looking asleep. Not moving, even though only hours earlier he’d been lying in bed with Mal, his hands cradling her belly and his cheek pressed against her as he sang to their daughter and felt her kicking and moving around.
And then…she wasn’t.
Part of him lay in that urn, part of his heart and soul and dreams.
If he lost what was left of him…
He grabbed one of the throw pillows and held it clutched in his arms as his sobs echoed off the living room walls.
