Page 17 of Excitable Boy
Skyway closed. Accident. ETA unknown. ;(
Tony sighed and showed Mike.
“Motherfucker,” he said.
“Yeah. Let’s head to baggage claim.” While on the escalator heading downstairs, Tony called Shayla.
She answered, sounding like she was near tears. “Welcome home, Sir.”
He took a deep breath and made sure to gentle his voice. “How you doing, pet? Where are you?”
She sniffled. “I’m stuck on I-4 between the State Fairgrounds and Ybor City. I turned around and headed up I-75, but now there’s an accident at the interchange by downtown, and traffic’s backed up. According to Waze, traffic between here and the airport is at a standstill. It’s estimating it’ll take me over an hour to get there from here.”
Tony silently groaned. “Can you get off the Interstate and come a back way?”
“I don’t know where to go! I don’t know Tampa!”
She was definitely crying now.
“Shh, pet, it’s okay, sweetheart.” He followed Mike, who he assumed had read the signs about which baggage belt they were supposed to go to.
“I’m sorry, Sir.”
“Honey, this isn’t your fault.”
“I know, but I wanted to be there to meet your plane, and the donut sucks, and I thought I could take I-4, and…” She devolved into tears.
He took another deep breath. “Pet, I need you tocalmdown, sweetheart. I don’t want you getting in an accident. Hang up, take the next exit, pull over at the first gas station, or a shopping center parking lot, or somewhere safe, and then call me back. Okay? Right now. That’s anorder.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, Sir.” She ended the call.
Mike was watching him. “Do I evenwantto know?” he drawled.
Tony started telling him. Despite trying to keep a straight face, when Mike started laughing, Tony did, too, until the two of them were nearly howling as they stood there waiting for the luggage belt to start up.
“Jesusfuck,” Mike said. “Maybe I should just take an Uber home and expense it back to Asher. I thinkyou’rethe one that’s jinxed, not me.”
Tony nodded, still laughing. “God, I’m a horrible husband. Don’t youdaretell her I laughed. She’s really upset.”
Mike grinned. “Between that and the butt-plug story, you’re going to be infamous.”
An older woman standing close by shot them a disgusted look.
Both men burst out laughing again.
* * * *
Shayla exited I-4 and found a McDonald’s to pull into. After shifting into park, she took a deep breath and called Tony back.
“You safe, pet?”
“Yes, Sir. I’m at a McDonald’s.”
“Okay. Put the phone in speaker mode and then use Waze to find another route to the airport.”
