Page 46 of Good Friends
Hadn’t he spent nights crying himself to sleep because he ached not just for his lover and Top and partner in crime, but his best goddamned friend?
He had.
All of that, and more.
Every damn bit of it.
How shocked he’d been to see Porter appear there at work yesterday.
How he’d spent every day since moving back to Florida trying to resist the Siren’s call to go to Porter and beg him to not fuck Jayce.
And now…he didn’t even felt worthy of the man after his colossal fuckup of not trusting him.
Porter was a play slut. Gavin never begrudged that, because he loved watching Porter play. Hell, he loved helping him play with guys. The man was frickinghawtin Dom mode.
It was one of the things he’d fallen in love with.
“I’m still the same man I was, Gav,” Porter added. “I haven’t changed, except to realize I shouldn’t have held back with you. It wasn’t because I don’t love you. It wasbecauseI love you. You know what I went through with Dane. After what you went through, I didn’t want you to make a decision based on me and regret it later. I wanted it to be becauseyouwanted it. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, buddy, is for you to be happy.”
His vision blurred as tears filled his eyes. There were suddenly double, triple Porters standing there.
Was hereallygetting a second chance?
More importantly…was heseriouslygoing to squander that second chance?
He found himself nodding. “Yes.”
Porter’s smile outshone even the Sarasota sun as he stepped in and engulfed Gavin in a long, strong hug. He realized he was crying, sobbing as he clung to Porter and pressed his face against the man’s shoulder.
Porter turned and leaned against the truck, his face buried in Gavin’s hair.
“It’s okay, buddy. We’ll take this as slow as you need. I’ll marry you tomorrow or in five years, your call. But I meant it—only you. You’re the only guy I want. I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
That only made it that much worse, that Gavin knew his isolation had totally been self-inflicted.
Worse, he’d hurt Porter in the process and damaged the man’s trust in him.
Yes, he could’ve simplytoldPorter he wanted to discuss taking things to the next level with him instead of the passive-aggressive way he’d handled it.
Yes, he could’ve simplyaskedPorter if he’d fucked Jayce.
Yes, he should’ve confronted Porter and cleared the air instead of sneaking back and taking another job and not even talking to him.
What if I’d taken a job somewhere else and never knew how badly I’d fucked up?
The shakes hit him then. Porter held him tighter as Gavin pressed his face into the man’s shoulder and sobbed with relief.
“Shhh,” Porter whispered as he leaned against the side of his truck with Gavin cradled against him. “It’s okay, boy. I’ve got you. I’m never letting you go again, either.”
Gavin didn’t care who saw them together. He didn’t give a shit they were at work.
He didn’t care about anything except whose arms he was in.
A man he wasn’t even sure if he deserved now after the shitty way he’d treated him.
Gavin had no clue how long they stood there. Porter made no move to rush him or make him step back. “At lunch,” he said.
“What was that, baby?” Porter asked.
