Page 35 of Kissing Kayley
When Kayley felt like this, I knew it’d be counterproductive to try to coax her into talking.
Add the emotional and literal upheaval of the past twenty-four hours and I knew pushing her to talk would fast-track her shutting down and shutting me out.
Better to go with the flow… for now.
We changed into shorts and headed out after I snagged a picnic blanket and a couple of bottles of water. The weather was gorgeous, not oppressively warm, and the woods soon enveloped us and shut out the rest of the world.
I let her set the pace and smiled when, a few minutes later, she stopped and turned her face up into a sunbeam, eyes closed.
“Okay, I seriously could get used to this,” she said. “Do you know the last time I went someplace where I couldn’t hear civilization?”
“I’m guessing a long time,” I said.
“Damned right. Honestly? It was Yellowstone, and even then there was still noise. And people.” She took a long breath andslowly let it out. “And smell that air! It’sreallypiney.” She looked at me. “That sounded dumb, didn’t it?”
“No, I knew what you meant.”
We continued walking, slower now, her hand seeking and holding mine. “I’m trying not to think about what’s going on in the rest of the world,” she quietly admitted a few minutes later. “It’s a shit show, but I can’t do anything about it. Plus, I know Leo, Jordan, and Elliot are safe. And my parents. So I’ll do my best to stay present for you.”
“I know. Me, too.” While I hadn’t spotted them yet I felt certain our shadows followed us. Asher and Jenette Paxton were experts. That they also knew the resort’s layout was a bonus.
But I damned sure wouldn’t remind Kayley about them. I needed to jostle her out of her head for a while. Maybe getting back to nature would do it.
Just enough of a breeze slipped between the trees and kept the shadowed areas cooler. I couldn’t remember the last time—not even at Yellowstone—when I’d had the opportunity to enjoy nature like… this.
Frankly, I couldn’t remember the last time I enjoyed natureperiod. Any time I was able to get time off, if I wasn’t spending it with Kayley, then chances were I was spending it resting or catching up on chores at my condo. During the visit to Yellowstone, I was still technically working even when I hadn’t been officially on the clock.
The feel of my sidearm digging into the small of my back in its waistband holster also reminded me I still had a duty of care beyond that of boyfriend and potential Dominant.
“What was it like growing up in your family?” she asked.
It took me a moment to process her left-field question. “Busy and noisy,” I joked.
“It was just me and Leo. I don’t know what it’s like to have a large family.”
I was one of eight kids, and sometimes during my childhood I wished I could be swapped into a family with only one or two siblings.
Obviously I don’t feel that way now, but kids can be fucking stupid and I’d been no exception.
“It was a lot,” I truthfully answered. “I love my family. But just like you wish you’d had more siblings, there are times I envy you and Leo.”
“Why’s that?” she asked.
“Again, as a kid, I didn’t feel that the times Mom and Dad were busy and asked us to help out with the younger ones were a bonus. When I was little, sure, it was fun, because I felt like I was being treated like an adult. But flash-forward to high school and it sucked working a part-time job all week, with plans to go on a date on the weekend, just to have my plans scuttled and I had to babysit because my parents’ work schedules changed without warning.”
“That sucks.”
“Yeah. Looking back, I see Mom and Dad did an amazing job. We knew we weren’t rich, but beyond the normal levels of kid envy at not being able to afford fancy things, we never realized how ‘poor’ we were. We had a decent house, we always had good food and clothes, and we laughed and cried together as a family.”
“I never thought about it like that.”
“It was easier as we all got older and headed to college or enlisted or whatever. Then Mom and Dad could focus their time and money on the younger kids. I don’t begrudge that now, although I won’t deny I was jealous when I was younger.”
“What were the benefits of all those siblings?” she asked.
“Never alone on the holidays unless our job or a deployment kept us away. Even then, usually anyone who couldn’t show managed a phone call or video chat. If one of us had trouble with a bully, all of us jumped in to take care of it. And if any of us hadtrouble in school, we all pitched in to tutor them, or take up the slack with chores for whoever was doing the tutoring. Even now, while we might have differences of opinion, we know we all have each other’s backs without question.
“Mom and Dad emphasized that—to help each other whenever possible. They were both only children growing up. Mom’s older brother died before she was born, and Dad’s younger sister died when he was three, so he doesn’t even remember her. They both wanted to have the big family they didn’t get as kids.”
