Page 141 of Broken Bonds
He piles several things into the ATV’s bed and then catches my eye and tips his head toward the storeroom, his meaning clear.
I’m not pitiful enough to think he’ll actually fuck me right there, but I won’t deny this bitch power-walks the length of the barn to catch up with him.
I follow him into the storeroom, and he takes my hands in his, staring down at me with those gorgeous brown eyes. “There is a plan,” he starts. “But I can’t tell you any details or even a timeframe. Okay?”
I nod, sensing from his tone this is going somewhere I won’t like. “Okay.”
He squeezes my hands. “Do you trust me?” he quietly asks.
“Of course I do.”
“Do you trust me to protect you, and to keep you safe?”
I nod. “Absolutely. Without question or hesitation.”
He takes a deep breath. “For now, I need to take safewording off the table. I don’t like doing it, but with the logistical discussions that happened, it’s agreed that it’ll help give… everything a better chance of success.”
Lots of thoughts spin through my brain so fast I can’t even grab any of them to make sense of them. But one thought drills through me, through the darkest depths of my soul.
And it’s a concrete truth.
“I trust you, Todd,” I say, squeezing back. “If you can’t keep me safe then I’m not safe anywhere. I don’t know Jax or Shawn the way you do, obviously, but if you trust them, then I trust them, too.”
A sudden prickle in my nose catches me off guard and I desperately blink back tears. “I have no other options,” I finally choke out. “I can’t lose you. And if I leave here, I’m certain it’s not if, but when, someone catches me. Not that I want to leave here.”
He pulls me into a tight embrace, not even caring I smell like cow shit, his chin rubbing the top of my head. The force of his love for me pulses through me like a supernova.
“I love you, baby,” he whispers. “The other thing is I can’t control you not reading my thoughts right now. While I was given the okay for us to keep doing what we’re doing, even before everything else happens, it was suggested I shouldn’t sleep in bed with you, and I have to agree.”
That slightly stings, but I totally get it. “I understand. I’m not used to sleeping with someone anyway, so it’s not like that’ll be difficult to get used to.”
He hugs me tighter. “We’ve got to make this happen in less than a week. Once we’re through that, you and I can finally sit down and have an actual discussion, with clothes on, about the two of us. I don’t want you to feel pressured?—”
I look up at him. “I want to be with you, Todd. Period. I get that there will be an adjustment period for both of us. We’re both used to living alone. It’s not like we’re across the country from each other, okay? I’m fine living in the apartment for now.”
He looks nearly distraught. “I don’t want you to think I’m banishing you, or that I don’t want you?—”
I grab the big oaf’s head and drag his lips down to mine so I can kiss him. “Shut up,” I silently tell him, and he starts laughing.
When I finally release him from the kiss, he keeps his forehead pressed against mine. “This is not how I wanted you to join the pack,” he whispers. “I wanted it to be like we usually do, a celebration, and then you’d feel welcomed and loved.”
“I do feel welcomed and loved—by you. Not like I’m not used to my life being anything but normal, dude. I’m pretty good at compartmentalizing after all these years of having to live in secrecy. Once we’re through this shit and I have a found family I can finally be my authentic self with? Man, that’s my dream. I don’t care how I have to get there, as long as the end result is you and me.”
That finally earns me a smile. “Once we’re through all this, on the other side of it, we can start introducing you around properly. You’re gonna love meeting the omega house guys.”
I return his smile. “I am going to get my slut on sooo hard—no pun intended—you have no idea.”
His smile transforms into a beaming grin. “I hope to hell so, baby.
“Well, I have a lot of time to make up and slutting to catch up on.”
He cups my face in his hands and kisses me, and somehow we keep it from devolving into sex right there on the dusty concrete floor. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
He finally releases me, even though it’s obvious he doesn’t want to. “I have a bunch of stuff to get done. I don’t even know if I’ll be eating dinner at the house tonight, much less what time I’ll get home, but please feel free to make yourself at home in the kitchen and living room and stuff.”
“I can feed myself, don’t worry. And how about I wash the sheets for you?” I smile, but I know he didn’t put them in yet, because he doesn’t smell like I know those sheets smelled like.
