Page 161 of Broken Bonds
“I have no clue how big I am like that, okay? Any time I was on a pack run I was too busy trying not to bone up. And no, I’ve never tried licking myself.”
His arms cage me, a sexy, smoldering smile curving those gorgeous lips of his. “So I’d be your first?”
My face heats even more. “Shifted? Yes.”
“Oh, baby.” He slants his lips over mine again and as much as I’m enjoying it I really can’t let him get me horned up.
“Yes, you get it first,” I gasp, “but this is killing me! I’m not supposed to have sex right now and all I want to do is drag you outside, run again, and fuck your brains out!”
“Sorry.” He stands, holding his hand out to me, and I take it and let him help me up. “How about I put you into a steak and potatoes coma instead?”
I grin. “I think I can be persuaded.”
Chapter Sixty-Four
Jax
Wanted: One Adultier Adult
Curling up on the couch with my mate is a luxury I wish I could indulge in right now. Exhaustion sets in even before we leave Todd’s, and I’m glad Shawn’s driving home separately in his car so I have a few minutes to just…
Decompress.
I hate lying to Todd, but how Shawn set up that situation was smart. Because I genuinely did lose my shit despite the tiny voice deep in the back of my brain trying to scream it wasn’t real.
If I had been loose when Todd spat in my face?
There would’ve been blood, and a lot of it.
That…terrifies me.
It wasn’t until I burst out of the barn and spotted the terror on the faces of the guys on the safety team on the other side of the yard—and the tranquilizer gun aimed directly at me—that something in my soul was able to yank hard enough on the emotional emergency brake to remind me that no, this wasn’t “real”. That it needed to feel real to Mal above all.
Had Shawn not jumped me when I hit the clearing I still might have attacked Todd when I saw him.
Note for future me—more safety crew members, and several more armed with tranq guns.
I never could’ve lived with myself had I hurt Todd.
I wouldn’t have liked myself for fucking Mal without his permission, either. Initiations look like free-for-alls, but there are always safewords and precautions.
I don’t know if I could’ve stopped myself from fucking Mal first if Todd and Shawn hadn’t been ready for me.
That’ll definitely be a conversation I have with Pops over a beer once the two of us can sit down and talk, in private, after all this other shit is handled with the refugees and tracking down—and taking down—the fuckers responsible for the carnage.
He made this shit look easy, and from this end of things I logically understand there had to be times he felt like I do right now—wondering where the fuck the adultier adult is who should actually be in charge instead of me.
When the next realization finally slams home, I nearly veer off the road.
Oh my god, I’m going to be a dad!
My hands shake and I end up pulling off onto the shoulder. Thank the Goddess Shawn went on ahead of me because I wanted to talk to the guys on the safety team first.
Yes, I’ve wanted to be a dad in the theoretical sense of the word.
Some day.
One day.
