Page 187 of Broken Bonds
“I know you have no reason to believe me beyond what others have told you,” she says, “but please try to focus on the reality in front of you instead of the nightmares behind and inside you. I don’t claim to see everything, but I know when something feels true. And what feels true is you and Todd having a long, happy life together. No, I can’t tell you how many years. My sight doesn’t work like that. But there is nothing to make me think your time is short, or will be prematurely shortened. Especially not in the near future.”
“And our baby?” I struggle not to think of it as “her” yet.
That would make all of this too damned real, meaning it would hurt that much worse if it’s ripped from me.
When.
That’s the silent beat that pulses through me. When not if.
She stands and rounds the desk, and that’s when I realize I’m crying.
Okay, add that to the list of new things—I now cry at the drop of a hat. Who knows if it’s due to hormones or because of my CPTSD.
“But you didn’t see your family being murdered, did you?” I whisper, hating to question her, hating to ask it, but I need to know.
Alizée wraps herself around me, holding me, rocking me. “I’m not saying it’s impossible. What I’ve learned is my future sight regarding the long-term—years ahead—is based on the here and now. The next year or two. I had not seen my parents in person in over four months, and I need physical contact to see like that. My guess is the plans to attack the coven fomented after my last visit with them. And when I was with them, I didn’t deliberately tune in to the long-term future. I spend more time deliberately shielding myself from information than I do seeking it. Otherwise, it’d drive me mad.”
I sniffle. “So you think we’ll be okay for now?”
“I do,” she gently says. “I think you and Todd and your baby will be safe.”
“My mom?”
“I can’t read her because I’ve never met her. What I see, now, is her being here, just as I told you. I saw that in both you and in Todd.”
“I wish I could believe that. It seems like my father ruins everything.”
“You really need to talk to a counselor. If you don’t want to yet, let me send you information about guided meditations to help.”
“This is just so… much!”
“I know, honey.”
I feel safe wrapped in her arms, like the big sister I always wanted and never got. Even my sisters-in-law acted distant and cold, whether by choice or out of fear of my father, I don’t know.
It makes no difference. Same result. Even Mom held back if Dad and my brothers were around. Only when it was just the two of us could she openly express love and affection with me.
“I wish you could snap your fingers and bring her here,” I sniffle.
She stands, smiling down at me. “Me, too, kiddo.” She ruffles my hair, and the sister image coalesces even more solidly in my heart. “Oh, and by the way”—she pulls out her phone and texts me—“that’s Sam’s number.” She drops me a wink.
“How did you?—”
“Wiiiiiitch, little pup.” Her smile widens as she points at her face and circles her finger.
“You’re fucking spooky.”
She bursts out laughing and lays a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, that was mean of me. When I saw Sam this morning, he asked me to give you his number in case you want to reach out. He keeps missing Todd to ask him.”
Now I’m confused. “Why didn’t he just text Todd?”
“Sweetie, he’s neurodivergent, an introvert, and being pulled in multiple directions between teaching at the pack school and teaching the refugee kids. He was adorably afraid of cold-texting Todd without talking about it in person because he desperately doesn’t want you to think he’s disrespecting you even just by contacting him. And yes, he asked me to tell you that.” She shrugs. “Better said aloud to prevent misunderstandings. He’s really happy for both of you and says sorry he hasn’t reached out sooner. But with his extra responsibilities, he keeps forgetting.”
She drops a kiss on the top of my head, ruffles my hair again, and heads for the office door. “Text or call me if you need me, sweetie. I’ll send you some info later today.”
Her energy swirls behind her like a wake and leaves me slightly melancholy.
If I were into girls and not already mated to Todd, she might actually be the one woman who could flip my switch to experiment on the het side.
