Page 231 of Broken Bonds
But after an hour, it’s still just…talk.
I mean, I’m not sure what the protocol is, if I’m supposed to get naked, or what.
Todd’s having fun chatting, catching up, and I really don’t want to be rude and just blurt it out.
Guys filter in and out of the large living room to say hi and meet me while the large communal TV plays a Star Wars movie marathon.
Then we’re down to just four of us: me, Todd, Keith, and a guy named Patton.
Finally, I look at Todd. “This isn’t good, is it?”
His brow furrows. “What isn’t, baby?”
I hold my hands out, gesturing to…well, me.
Still dressed.
Not naked.
Definitely not fucked. Not literally, at least, although I might be metaphorically fucked.
Todd scowls, finally realizing what I mean. “Guys, what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” Patton asks from where he’s sprawled in a comfy chair and watching the movie.
“Umm, Mal’s starting his initiation,” Todd said. “Keith, I thought I made that clear when I called. Where’d everyone go?”
I blink back a persistent prickle in the back of my nose because I do not want to start crying.
Keith, who sits on the far end of the large sofa, leans forward around Todd to speak to me. “It’s not that we’re not attracted to you,” Keith says. “And I’ll certainly be down to fuck in the future. But right now”—he waves his palm at me in a circle—“it’s like there’s a hormonal ‘authorized personnel only’ sign on you. In blinking neon.”
Todd scowls. “Really?”
“Yeah. No offense, Mal,” he quickly adds. “I mean, besides, you already smell like pack to me. You smell identical to Todd. So it’s not like I’m feeling any…urgency to make you smell like pack.”
Patton nods. “Seriously, it’s not like the few times we’ve had someone go through initiation where we just did not like them or want to fuck them. Not like that at all. We like you just fine. I can’t speak for the others, but for me? Even if we drop trou right now, I’m just going to be pushing rope, and that’s no fun for anyone. I’d love to fuck you in the future, but I know nothing’s going to happen on my end if I try tonight. Sorry.”
“Ditto,” Keith says. “You smell like you were born into the pack. Frankly, I don’t even feel like fucking Todd right now. No offense, man. And you know how much I love being on the receiving end of your rut.”
“Oh, snap!” Patton says. “You’re right—neither do I. Not want to fuck Todd, I mean.”
Keith speaks to me. “Usually, all Todd has to do is point at me and I’m panting for him. But right now? Zip.”
“Maybe in a few months,” Patton says, “when the baby’s older.” He shrugs. “I mean, I’m not blackballing you, even if you weren’t Todd’s mate. You seem like a cool guy and I’m looking forward to getting to know you better. Welcome to the pack.”
“Wait a minute,” Todd said. “Have either of you been near Shawn lately?”
Keith thinks, then his face lights up. “Yeah! I feel like that about him now, too. And you know how much I love it when Jax lets him play in the puppy pile. Hell, I don’t even feel anything for Jax lately.” He snaps his fingers. “That has to be it. I’ve never been in this position with someone who’s a new parent. I think the last guy I fucked around with who gave birth delivered maybe a year earlier.”
My heart lurches. “A year?”
I really do not want to start crying, but I’m close to it.
Todd grabs me by the shoulders and forces me to meet his gaze. “Baby, instead of focusing on that, focus on the fact that they say you already smell like pack.”
“But I want to go through initiation!”
Keith gets up, walks around Todd, and leans in to hug me. “Hey, welcome to the pack, Mal. Like, seriously, you are pack, okay? You can do all of the fun stuff another time. Hell, Todd can ask for Alphas to come rail you in the fun room. But…” He shrugs. “It’s not a bad problem to have, you know?”
