Page 34 of Broken Bonds
Fuck.
I change clothes, pull on a T-shirt and boxers, and follow him to the utility room where he’s sorting laundry.
“Can we please talk?” I ask.
“Nothing to talk about, Jax,” he snaps. “You don’t want a baby. I spent all these years hopeful, because you always led me on about it, and I guess I don’t know you as well as I thought.”
“Please, it’s not like that?—”
He wheels on me. “THEN WHAT IS IT LIKE, JAX?” he screams. “I’m twenty-five years older than you!” He lobs a pair of jeans into the washer. “If you’d just told me in the beginning you didn’t want pups I could have accepted that. Not spent the last thirty-two goddamned years hoping like an asshole that you do!”
I force myself to stay calm. “I do want pups?—”
“No, that’s a lie, isn’t it?” He finishes loading the washer and slams the top shut. “If you wanted them you wouldn’t keep putting me off. ‘Time’s not right. Assholes are being assholes. Too busy with pack work.’ We ‘tried’ one time and you gave up. Just fucking tell me you don’t want pups and quit lying to me, Jax.” He wrenches the knobs on the washer and storms past me out of the utility room with the empty hamper in hand.
I fight the urge to storm after him, grab him, and slam him onto our bed and fuck the attitude out of him.
A younger me might have done exactly that, because one thing Shawn enjoys is challenging me to trigger my Alpha.
Most of the time playfully, a little bratty, for fun.
Not for something like this.
I hear a door slam and when I reach our bedroom I see the hamper where it should be, but on its side. I right it and realize he’s not in our bathroom. Turning, that’s when I notice one of the guest room doors is closed.
I try the knob and find it locked.
Closing my eyes, I rest my head against the door and keep my tone gentle. “Shawn, please, can we talk?”
I hear him sniffle, and my heart crumples, a painful keening in my soul, knowing he’s hurting because of me.
“Go away, Jax. I can’t talk to you right now. Good night.”
Goddammit. I’m an idiot. I knew he was feeling increasingly eager to have a baby, but I didn’t realize exactly how badly. He didn’t seem overly upset that one time we did try.
Knowing we’re at a stalemate for tonight, I return to our bedroom, shut off the lights, and lie there feeling like the shittiest husband in the world with my hand resting on the spot in our bed where he usually sleeps.
This is the exact opposite of how I’d expected to go to sleep tonight. And as I lie there staring at the ceiling, I realize my self-doubt and fear might have just irretrievably fucked up my marriage and destroyed my mate’s trust in me.
Chapter Fourteen
Todd
Dawn
That night, I get the best sleep I think I’ve had in a couple of months. When I awaken the next morning before my alarm I start getting ready for work when I remember one important fact?—
Mal.
A trill of excitement ripples through me. I won’t be a dick and hit on him.
I mean, not seriously. I’ll see how he reacts to a little playful teasing. I don’t want him feeling pressured or indebted to me. He is a cutie, though.
Shawn will definitely be getting a fricking workout from me.
Daily.
Meaning Shawn will be too tired to worry about Sterling coming after Mal and threatening our pack. Which I damned well know is part of Jax’s plan. Because Shawn has a habit of worrying.
