Page 44 of Broken Bonds
He’s dying to join the pack. For the first time in his life he feels free to be himself instead of keeping it pent up. An omega as young as him? And who’s never been through a mating heat before?
He’ll be a damned wild ride.
No, I don’t feel a mating bond with him. I mean, aren’t mating bonds where you meet and immediately just know? That’s what happened with the others I know who have mating bonds, including Jax and Shawn. An insatiable need to fuck like crazy within seconds of meeting and put a forever claim on each other.
But something pleasantly unfamiliar percolates inside me when I think of marking Mal at both ends so he smells like me.
That thought trips me over the edge and I lie there, gasping as I catch my breath with cum coating my hand and splattered all over my abs.
Maybe I need to stack the deck in my favor before Shawn starts introducing him to others.
Maybe I need to broach the subject with Mal before anyone else has a chance to get to him.
Maybe I can convince him to hang around and keep living at my place even after initiation.
Because maybe I can talk him into wanting to keep his options open for a while before he walks out of my life and into someone else’s arms.
Chapter Twenty
Jax
Amends
All afternoon I fight the urge to call or text Shawn and struggle to keep my mind on my work. He won’t want to talk yet, and if I pressure him, all that’ll do is aggravate him and make the situation worse.
I make it through the day and leave a few minutes early to stop by the store. I’m a good cook and enjoy it—usually with Shawn—and want to make him something special. Something I haven’t cooked in a while.
I buy all the fixings for veal piccata, a salad, veggies, and a fresh baguette from the bakery. I also pick up a dozen of their glazed donuts because he loves them. And a bottle of his favorite wine, even though it’s not my jam.
When I get home, I carry everything inside and find him vacuuming the living room. I set my purchases on the kitchen counter, and Shawn switches the vacuum off when I walk over, staring at me.
Waiting.
I meet his gaze, trying to organize my thoughts before I open my arms. “I’m sorry, baby. You’re right—I’m scared. I do want pups.”
He doesn’t immediately come to me. “How long will you make me wait, Jax? If you don’t want to try, tell me. I’ve been patient, but I can’t be jerked around for the rest of my life. If you can’t commit to trying, let’s agree the subject’s settled and permanently closed. I cannot keep getting my hopes dashed because of your insecurities.”
Shame fills me because he’s absolutely right. “Your next heat is due, what, in the next month or two, right?” He nods. “Okay. Let’s get through this initiation—if it even happens—and your next heat. And then no more delays.”
I haaate that he looks doubtful, like he doesn’t want to believe me.
Like I might rip the carpet out from under him again. “Really?”
“Really. If it wasn’t for this pup—and I won’t arbitrarily send him away just so we can try for a baby—we’d start trying this time. If somehow his situation is completely settled before your next heat? Then yes, we will try.”
Shawn crosses his arms over his chest, and I finally lower mine because it’s obvious he’s not ready for a hug.
“Explain your logic,” he says. “And why I should believe there won’t be another delay?”
“Because you deserve one hundred percent of my attention once we start trying. And yes, I know it will probably take a while before you catch.”
He shifts from one foot to the other, one of his tells that, despite his stony expression, he’s starting to open up. “We already know it probably won’t,” he says. “Happen the first time, I mean. Not with me being a coyote. Dr. Williams said she’s willing to try IVF. We can stockpile semen between heats to help our chances.”
I nod. “Okay, then. Even better to make the heat after this one our ‘official’ starting point, right? I’ll call the doc next week and find out what she needs me to do.”
His expression softens. “Really?”
“Really. And I mean it—I’m sorry. You’re right. I wasn’t thinking about our age difference. You’ve always been so…chill about it. And I get that everyone thinks I’ll be mega-dad or something, but it doesn’t change how I feel about myself. I have massive paw prints to fill and it’s daunting.”
