My father might be an Alpha, but I fantasize that Todd, despite being a beta, walks up to him and kicks his ass from here to Mars. Because I have no doubt Todd could do that. My father’s not a small man, yet Todd is way bigger than him, both in human and in shifted forms.
I fantasize about showing up at their front door with Todd on my arm and Todd’s ring on my finger and imagining the shock on Randolph Sterling’s face.
Except that wouldn’t end well for anyone if I did. He’d shoot us and claim we threatened him.
Still, a guy can dream, right?
After my swim I dry off, grab my clothes without putting them on yet, and stop in the doorway of Todd’s bedroom. It’s tidy and he’s made his bed.
Knowing this is a violation of privacy and hoping he doesn’t get mad, I walk over to his bed, bury my face in his pillow, and deeply inhale. I close my eyes and rub my face all over it while thinking about him.
That succeeds in quickly getting me hard, so I return to the pool to jerk off while thinking about last night.
I’ve got it bad for him.
I dry off—again—and this time pull on my clothes before returning to the house…
And I stop at Todd’s bedroom door again.
Before I chicken out I rush into his bathroom, grab a dirty T-shirt from his hamper, and scurry back to my apartment.
There, I sit on my bed with it pressed to my face for several minutes, breathing in his scent.
Fuck. Me.
I’ve got it bad for him.
Sure, Mal’s logical brain says I’m a fucking idiot, because this could be mostly a trauma response, CPTSD, infatuation, because sure he’s hunky, but he’s also helping me and rolled my eyes back in my head multiple times last night.
I’m hard again but if I sit in here all day I’ll end up rubbing my cock raw, and if I want to talk Todd into a repeat of last night I probably should save it.
I leave his shirt on my bed, change into work clothes, and make my way down to the barn to help out. Todd said he wasn’t certain when he’d return home later tonight, but that I was free to cook myself dinner in his kitchen. Rather than taking the day off I’ll redirect my energy into something not requiring me to think. I’ll still work with Todd when he takes over for his guys this weekend but I need to stay busy while he’s gone and do something that will force me not to dive inside my head and spend all day jerking off.
And no shade to other people’s kinks, but shoveling cow shit and repairing fences certainly isn’t an aphrodisiac to me.
Chapter Forty-Three
Jax
Shaky Ground
Thirty minutes before the meeting’s scheduled start time, there are already a dozen people waiting outside the rec center when Shawn and I arrive with Todd right behind us. They immediately swarm me, peppering me with questions while I unlock the doors.
Turning, I shove my anger down deep and channel my father.
“Enough!” I glare at them and at least four of them, two of them Alphas, take a step back. “We’re doing this in an orderly fashion. I’m not answering the same questions twenty goddamned times. When the meeting starts, it starts. If your questions aren’t answered by the end of it, then you ask them. One at a fucking time.”
They all look chastised, and it’s likely because they’ve never seen me angry like this before. Not unless it’s directed at some outside threat.
I unlock the door and prop it open despite the AC being on. I was tempted to turn the AC off before we left, hoping the heat might prompt some people to leave early instead of sweating their asses off, but that would mean I’d also be sweating my ass off.
Todd helps me and Shawn get the podium out of storage and set up the microphone so I don’t have to shout over everyone. No chairs; it’ll be standing room only unless someone else wants to grab them from the stacks and set them up. And when someone comes up and asks me about doing just that, I tell them if they do, then they’re in charge of the chairs and they’d better be staying until every last chair is put back because I’m not doing it.
They opt to stand.
Yes, that’s mean of me, but if everyone’s standing, hopefully that will also mean they will be less likely to stay and argue for a while, especially if they’ve been on their feet all day working.
Todd’s mom, Iris, and his stepdad, Caleb, both show up. After hugging Todd, they walk over to hug me and Shawn.