Page 134 of The Chaos She Brings
I just stay close, hoping that’s enough.
But in the silence of my own mind, I can’t shake the guilt.
I was so focused on myself—on getting her back, on the betrayal of her leaving—that I never stopped to see what she went through. I should have pressed harder. Should have focused on her, not my need for space.
I sent her out alone to deal with her trauma.
The thought makes my stomach turn.
I feel like the world’s biggest asshole.
Tess quit her job after we got back and broke the lease on her flat since she decided she’s moved in with me. Not that I’ve really put up a fight.
Her things areeverywhere.My home is no longer pristine, everything in order. It’s a mess of clothes strewn over the couches, scrunchies found under every piece of furniture, pots and pans everywhere as she cooks. And yet, no one is screaming, no one is hitting me because it’s not perfect.
My mother’s presence in my mind finally feels lesser, like her claws aren’t dug in so deep.
I am concerned about what Tess will do now. I can support us for a while, Nate pays me well, but I can’t do it forever. I wish I could. But I also know that it’s not good for her to be confined in the house for days on end. Which is why, after months of neglecting Haven, I finally drag myself back in.
Tess, of course, is right beside me—practically glued to my side. Not that I mind. But I hate the reason why.
“Morning, Sarah,” I greet Nate’s assistant.
She smiles teasingly. “I was starting to think you’d abandoned us.”
“And do what instead? Get a real job? No thanks.”
She chuckles. “Nathan’s inside, go on in.”
I don’t even bother correcting her—she’s been working herefor three years and still refuses to call himNate.EvenNathanielwould be better. At this point, I’m convinced she does it just to piss him off.
Beside me, Tess is unusually quiet. Too quiet.
Ihateit.
“Thanks, Sarah.” I place my hand on the small of Tess’s back, grounding both of us. “This is Tess, my girlfriend. She’ll probably be around a lot.”
Like flipping a switch, Tess snaps out of her silence.
“Oh my God, hi! It’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about this place—Ilovethe work you guys do here.”
She’s smiling, bubbly, energetic.
Too energetic.
No one else would notice how fake it is.
But I do.
I steer her toward Nate’s office, pushing open the door without knocking—
And immediately regret it.
Nate’s bare ass flexes as he pounds Carina into his desk.
“Oh,fuck!” Carina moans.
Tess and I freeze.
