Page 38 of The Chaos She Brings
Enzo just rolls his eyes then yawns.
“I’ve been on a plane for hours. I’m exhausted.”
“Tess is probably asleep. Want to nap before you talk to her?”
He rolls his neck. “That would actually be great.”
“You can take my bed,” I offer.
“Fuck no,” he retorts with a shudder. “I know exactly what you were just doing in there. I’ll take the couch.”
I bark out a laugh. “Good to see you, man.”
After setting him up on the sofa—which is laughably too small for his massive frame—I head upstairs. On the way to my room, I stop outside Tess’s door. Part of me wants to go in, to talk to her, maybe even just watch her sleep like a creep, but when I crack the door open, she’s already out cold. Her face is peaceful, and for a moment, I just stand there, my chest tightening in a way I’m not ready to deal with.
Instead, I retreat to my office. My safe place.
I feel bad about neglecting my work at Haven, but I know Nate isn’t mad. If he were, he’d already be on my doorstep with a knife in one hand and a spreadsheet in the other. Until that happens, I’ll assume I’m in the clear. It’s not as if the place will fall apart without me—I’ve set up alerts on my phone for any major data or security issues. It’s fine. Everything is fine.
Except it isn’t.
I can’t get Tess out of my head.
I want her. Badly. I want to hold her right now, to feel her body pressed against mine as we drift off. Hell, I want to wake up with my head between her thighs and start the day with a new morning routine.
She's in my head, in my every thought.
When I'm with her, it's like the noise that's always buzzing in the back of my mind—the guilt, the anger, the scars from everything I've been through—just... stops. Like she's the only thing that matters.
That's dangerous.
I've spent my entire life building walls, creating routines, keeping my control locked so tight it's like armour. Control is the only thing I have left. The only thing that keeps me sane. And Tess?
She's a wrecking ball. A beautiful, chaotic, impossible wrecking ball.
Maybe if I just fucked her, I'd get her out of my system. Just one night to get rid of this fire under my skin. But even as thethought crosses my mind, I know it's bullshit. A taste of her wouldn't be enough. It would only make me crave her more.
My control hasn’t just slipped—it’s fucking sprinted off into the distance, waving a white flag as it goes.
And it’s not just sex I want. When I’m with her, it’s like everything else fades into the background, leaving only her.
Her ridiculous rambling. Her smile that lights up the room. The way she always manages to drop crumbs on her top when she eats. Her chaotic, maddening, completely captivating nature that’s taken root in me like a fungus I never want to get rid of.
I can’t let this spiral any further. My routine’s already gone to hell, and I’m barely holding on. I need to claw back some control—anything to keep the chaos at bay. It’s the only thing tethering me to sanity.
11
Just Another Tuesday In My Life
Tess to Carina: I've spent 30 years not knowing where I came from, and now I have a father who kills people for a living. I should be horrified. Why am I not? [delivered]
Tess
Thesoundofmuffledchatter pulls me from sleep just as my door creaks open.
Blinking groggily, I spot Carina slipping inside, quietly closing the door behind her.
“Hey, Tess,” she whispers when she sees I’m awake.
