Page 20 of A Duke in Pursuit of Passion
The question startled her, and Ella realised she had lost sight of the world before her, utterly lost in thoughts of Lord Rolfe and how much she loathed him and the pain he had already caused her over the years. She could sense him now as her surroundings came swimming back into focus, though he was speaking to Captain McCormack, some distance down the deck.
"My Lady?" Alice said again when Ella did not immediately respond.
Annoyed by the way her widow's veil dashed against her face in the sea breeze, she grumbled through gritted teeth and pulled it back just enough to show Alice her face.
"I am." Forcing a smile, she added, "And I shall be even better when we get off this damned ship."
Alice continued to look unconvinced by Ella's response, but before the maid could ask anything else, Ella asked, "How has your journey been, Alice?"
Slight guilt gnawed anew at her stomach, and this time it had nothing to do with Lord Rolfe. At least, far less than everything else. She had been so set on avoiding him that she had barely seen Alice, who had spent most of her time in the servants' quarters of the ship.
"I must admit it was a little difficult at first," Alice said, looking a little green. "The tossing of the ship was certainly an experience, but Lord Rolfe's manservant was quite accommodating, and I am relieved to say he kept a close eye on me."
Ella felt a small wave of relief. She had utterly failed as an employer to care for her maid during their journey, yet she quickly made a mental note to thank Lord Rolfe's man at the earliest opportunity. Maybe then the viscount would see that her coolness was for his benefit alone. Maybe then he would be less likely to take advantage of her during a vulnerable moment of emotion as he had that starry night.
It was I who kissed him,she reminded herself, though she dismissed it just as quickly. It did not matter who kissed who; all that mattered was the fact she was determined to forget it entirely.
Though she knew her thoughts on the matter weren't entirely rational, she was not ready to give up all the pain and anger he had put upon her for so many years during his absence, only for him to walk in again and change everything.
The sudden juddering of the ship brought Ella back from the train of thought her mind had taken, and she realised that the crewmen had begun to tighten the moorings. The gangway was being rushed into place as though everybody couldn't wait to get off for a chance to stretch their legs.
"Well, Alice, this is it," Ella said, reaching out to grip her maid's hand for support. "The last leg of our journey."
And yet somehow, she felt as though her journey was just beginning. Soon she would be trapped in a carriage with Lord Rolfe and their servants, headed for his aunt's estate, where it had already been arranged for them to stay.
Not for the first time, she wondered whether she should just find somewhere to stay in town. A tavern or an inn, perhaps, anything was better than remaining close to Lord Rolfe.
Chapter 14
The first leg of their journey had already been tiring enough, but when Nathaniel sat in the carriage beside Mack, opposite Lady Ella and her maid, he felt his energy being sapped even further.
For days now, she had avoided him, and the emotions within him battling against each other were no help either. Being sat in utter silence with the infuriating woman was only made worse by his constant urge to question her and explain himself, though he had no idea why such an urge overtook him.
He had nothing to explain himself over. The last time they had properly encountered each other, she had been the one to kiss him, and he didn't see her rushing forward to try and explain herself to him.
And so, instead of talking, he sat in silence with his arms crossed and his chin upon his chest to act as if he were resting.
Every so often, he heard Mack and Alice attempt to make up for the lack of conversation, though it appeared just as awkward as the silence was, and whenever he risked peeking open an eye, he saw that Lady Ella was simply sitting with her gaze upon the window, watching the Scottish countryside go by.
He had found her like that often, looking lost in thought and admiring the world around her, though now he sensed it was much more to do with avoiding him than it was actually enjoying the view.
After several hours, when they finally made it to his aunt Magda's estate, he could honestly say that he was more exhausted than ever and almost relieved for Ella's insistence upon being shown immediately to her room to rest.
Though she and his aunt greeted each other just as any ladies might, Nathaniel was relieved that neither insisted upon a large affair for dinner that night as normally would have occurred. His aunt clearly sensed their urgency and tension in being there as she had always been very perceptive. He was grateful to his father's sister and thanked her greatly before retiring to his own guest chambers to decide where to go next.
And after only another hour, he had devised the entire plan for their journey.
"Mack, please would you attend Lady Ella's room and request an audience so I might tell her of my plans for finding her sister?" he asked as he began to write a letter at his desk to send word back to both her parents and his father as to the fact they had arrived safely at their destination.
With any luck, we shall be back on a ship by the time it reaches them,he thought as Mack bowed and left the room.
Nathaniel leaned back in his seat, sucking in a deep breath of relief. It felt as though it was the first time he had been truly and utterly alone since they had boarded theMerry Roseseveral days earlier, and he decided to appreciate it while it lasted.
He had barely had time to place the letters in an envelope and seal them with wax before there was a knocking upon the door. Leaving the wax to fully cool, he rose from his chair and called, "Enter!"
"My Lord," Mack greeted him, entering upon a bow. "Lady Ella."
Nathaniel was utterly taken by surprise as Lady Ella swept into the room past his manservant. She walked with her head held high, her hands clasped before her, barely visible beneath the bell sleeves of her dress. And immediately he was astonished to see that for the first time since their journey had begun, she was not dressed in grey or black.
