Page 23 of A Duke in Pursuit of Passion
His stomach clenched at the question, and against his urge to comfort her, he admitted, “Yes.”
“Then it is hopeless.”
Nathaniel bit back the urge to offer up an immediate protest, knowing she would likely see right through him. More than that, she would probably accuse him of treating her like a child, which was the last thing he wanted. She had only just stopped looking at him as though she wanted to claw his eyes out.
“You should rest. There are still a few places we could try tomorrow,” he assured her, not wishing to give her too much hope but unable to give up on their mission entirely. The instinct in his gut was growing steadily more painful, but he was not yet ready to admit his fears aloud to the woman who had once been his best childhood friend.
For just a second, Nathaniel feared he might have spoken out of turn, that Lady Ella might have taken his words to mean he was telling her what to do, but when she spoke, it was clear that she was far too tired to begin another argument. “You’re right.”
Her words shocked Nathaniel so entirely that he almost laughed out of sheer nerves. He barely managed to bite it back, stifling a smile as Lady Ella got into a more comfortable position on the bench opposite him. Though she looked slightly awkward, Nathaniel did not attempt to offer any help or even his jacket to make her more comfortable, sensing she would not have thanked him for such a thing.
Hoping not to make her feel self-conscious, Nathaniel made a point of getting himself comfortable. Crossing his arms over his chest, he lowered his chin to rest on his sternum and half-closed his eyes, only watching Lady Ella when she was not watching him.
And in silence, they travelled together, just as they had all day. There was nothing left to say. Their search so far had been entirely fruitless, and Nathaniel did not sense that it would go any better the next day. It was better not to linger upon the fact.
After several minutes, the gentle sound of Lady Ella’s breathing started to change, and upon noticing it, Nathaniel opened his eyes, gazing at her with a small smile on his face. From the tone of her breathing, it was abundantly clear she had fallen asleep. At first, it was funny, reminding him of all their long journeys as children from London to the countryside and back again, following their parents wherever they might be required to do so.
Watching her and how her rosebud lips twitched and her dark eyelashes fluttered upon her cheeks, he couldn’t stop thinking of all the other things they had done as children. How they had left each other little trinkets and treats in the hole in the willow tree trunk that was the very centre of the boundary between their father’s two estates.
He imagined how she would look trying to climb up to the hole and how he had caught her hanging out of the tree more than once as though she had got herself stuck and wasn’t quite brave enough to simply let go.
He chuckled to himself, flinching when she jerked a little in her sleep as though she had sensed his amusement.
When she remained asleep, he quickly lost himself in memory all over again, remembering the young girl who had squealed and screamed whenever a fish swam past her legs when they were swimming in the pond or how she would run away crying whenever he caught one and tried to make her touch it.
What had happened to that girl? The one who could never be angry with him no matter how much he chased her with a slimy fish? Now anger seemed to be all she could aim at him when she wasn’t too tired from searching for her sister.
Wondering as he was, Nathaniel couldn’t stop admiring the woman before him. Resting as she was and unable to see him watching her, the anger, stress, and frustration of their reunion and their journey was gone from her face, leaving her utterly ravishing. Even in the dying light of the day that came through the windows of the carriage, she was angelic with her golden blonde curls and her pale, creamy skin that reminded him of milk.
Though there were still several freckles on her face, they were far fewer than they had been when they were children, yet it was easy to tell it was not due to a layer of powder. The woman before him was entirely natural, unhindered in her beauty by the powder and rouge and other stuff some ladies liked to cake onto their faces to hide their so-called imperfections, though looking at her, Nathaniel guessed she had very few if any at all.
That skin was so soft. He remembered it from the night upon the ship when he had cupped her face in his hands and kissed her back. He remembered all too well how it had felt to stroke her cheeks with the buds of his thumbs, how she had stepped closer to him to kiss him more deeply.
Closing his eyes, he could remember every second and sensation that had left him utterly unmanned by her and unable to stop kissing her back.
At that moment, all he had been able to think about was her, not where they were or who they were supposed to be to each other; he hadn’t even been able to worry about what might have happened should someone have seen them. All he had been able to think about was that he never wanted their kiss to end.
More than that, he had been able to imagine how much further it could have gone, how he would have liked to pick her up into his arms and carry her over the deck and into the cabin the captain had assigned for them both …
The sudden jerking stop of the carriage almost made Nathaniel slip from his bench, and he was thrown forward, barely managing to grab hold of the edge of the bench. At the very same moment, Lady Ella sat bolt upright, their heads missing each other by mere inches.
“What on earth?” she exclaimed, her eyes fluttering away sleep, her expression utterly startled.
“I do believe we have returned to my aunt’s estate,” Nathaniel admitted, feeling his cheeks growing hot with embarrassment. He had been so lost in thoughts of Lady Ella, so lost in the fantasy that he might actually have some chance with her for anything save for an argument, that he had entirely lost track of time and where they were on their journey.
“Good,” Lady Ella responded, straightening her garments and her hat. Somehow, even dishevelled as she was, she was steadily growing more and more beautiful. “I believe we both need a rest and a good meal after all we have been through today.”
Nathaniel nodded in agreement, determined not to tell her that his day was nowhere near over yet. Though he had allowed her to join him on the day visits, there was no way he was going to risk her joining him and Mack when he made his visits to the seedier parts of Gretna Green, where he hoped he might have more luck finding Mr Giles and her sister.
Those inns, taverns, and even a brothel or two were definitely no place for a lady of her stature, no matter how stubborn or confident she was.
Following her from the carriage, Nathaniel was quiet, hoping she would simply take it for his being as exhausted as she seemed. Greeted at the door by the butler, it was only a moment or so before his aunt joined them.
“It is good to see you both home in one piece,” Magda said, opening her arms to hug Lady Ella as though she were greeting a daughter or niece. “How did your search go?”
Nathaniel was already shaking his head at her when Lady Ella sighed and admitted, “Not well.”
“In that case, you will be glad to know I have already ordered your bath drawn, and your supper should be well on its way up to your room,” Magda explained. The way Lady Ella’s shoulders sagged suggested to Nathaniel that she was most definitely glad to hear it.
