Page 32 of A Duke in Pursuit of Passion
Lady Ella continued with her sad smile and shook her head. "I find myself fighting a losing battle wherever I look."
With that, she turned her gaze up towards the stars. Nathaniel followed her gaze, transported back all over again to the past where they had been two young friends lying in the fields between their fathers’ estates to watch the night pass them by.
"You know, Nate, I could never forgive you for how you left," Lady Ella said so softly that Nathaniel barely heard her. Yet her words were just loud enough to cut deep into his heart. Though he opened his mouth to speak, she beat him to it. "I was heartbroken when you never made it to the funeral."
Suddenly so many things started to tumble into place. Heart hammering and breath caught in his throat, Nathaniel remembered all those years ago when his mother had received word of her father's fading health and her insistence that they were to leave immediately. He remembered how he had protested and told her he had promised Lady Ella that he would be at the funeral of her most beloved pet chicken.
In a deep sigh, he said, "Clucky," lowering his head with renewed remorse and shame.
Lady Ella's head whipped around, and even beneath her mask, he could see the look of pure shock on her face. "You … you remember him?"
"Of course, I remember him," Nathaniel said, unable to stop the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. "You loved that chicken as though it was your second sibling. In fact, sometimes I think you loved it more than you loved Louisa."
"Well, she was always quite annoying back then." Lady Ella shrugged, and for a second, they both laughed. Then everything turned serious again. "Why … why didn't you come if you knew how much he meant to me?"
Again, Nathaniel felt a stabbing sensation in his heart. Lowering his gaze, he admitted, "My mama received word that morning that her father was gravely ill. We left for Scotland immediately, leaving only the servants behind to pack everything up for us."
An almost disbelieving glint flitted through Lady Ella's gaze. "I … I thought you had abandoned me."
The way her bottom little quivered told Nathaniel it was taking a great deal of strength for her to stop herself from becoming overly emotional. He had to admit he was feeling quite similarly. She had that effect on him.
Reaching out, Nathaniel gathered her into his arms and hugged her as he had wanted to since he stepped out onto the patio. For once, she didn't offer any protest. Instead, she melted into him, burying her face in his chest until he could feel her warm breath even through the layers of his clothing.
"El, you have no idea how hard it was for me to leave you that day," he admitted, stroking the back of her head as he held her, feeling her tremble with emotion in his arms. "I begged and pleaded with my mother not to take me, to let me stay with the servants until they had completed their tasks, but she insisted she needed me with her."
He felt the familiar pain in his heart that he had felt that day when his mother had practically ripped him away from all he had ever known to move across to what may as well have been the other side of the world to a small ten-year-old.
"I … I …" He began to try to tell her how much he had missed her but instead the words choked him.
She turned her gaze up to his and smiled sadly before saying, "I understand."
And it was at that moment, in the starlight and the silence of the gardens that Nathaniel lost all his self-control. Holding her in his arms as he was, her violet gaze meeting his, he leaned down to kiss her. The rush of relief and renewed desire he felt the moment their lips touched almost floored him.
Urging her closer, feeling the way she pressed herself into him, he deepened the kiss. His tongue stroked gently against her lips until they parted. Their tongues began to dance a desire-fuelled dance that caused his manhood to harden in his britches just as it had in the library.
And though they did not take it nearly so far as they had then, he was disappointed when he felt Lady Ella pulling back slightly. Only the look of longing in her gaze eased his disappointment. A sense that she only stopped because she was being rational made it far easier to accept.
"I fear we have been out here too long," she admitted, and when she slipped from his arms, his muscles only protested for a moment. "Someone might come looking for us."
Remembering the suspicious look on his aunt's face in the carriage, he did not doubt that she was right. He nodded his agreement and watched her begin to turn away. It was only at the last moment that he reached out and gripped hold of her wrist, turning her back to face him in order to ask, "Lady Ella, can you forgive me?"
Just saying the question made his heart hurt all over again.
"For what?" With a raised eyebrow, she looked at him, glanced down at his hand on her wrist, and then met his gaze again.
"For missing poor Clucky's funeral," Nathaniel said, unable to stop his lips twitching upwards in a sad smile. "I truly am sorry for missing it."
There was so much more he wished to apologise for, though the look in her eyes suggested she knew it. She placed her free hand on top of his on her wrist and squeezed gently. "I shall take it under consideration."
With an almost playful smile, she removed his hand from her wrist and continued on her way back to the ballroom, leaving Nathaniel there unable to move for several moments.I truly hope you can forgive me, Ella. I have missed you more than I could ever say aloud.
Chapter 20
After their emotional moment on the patio, Ella was only half-paying attention to the goings on around her, unable to stop thinking of how her lips tingled. And almost the moment she stepped back into the ballroom, she bumped right into an unsuspecting guest.
Hands immediately reached out to steady her, and a charming voice said, "Steady on there, miss."
The second Ella's gaze travelled up to his face, her heart leapt into her throat. Her hands, which had automatically braced against his forearms to catch herself, tightened their grip on him. Though her stumbling into him had only set his mask askew enough to reveal half his face, Ella recognised him instantly.Mr Giles!
