Page 46 of A Duke in Pursuit of Passion
"As I suspected, you are much too much like your father," Lady McGilligan said, her tone filled with remorse. "You ought to tell the lady your true feelings before it is too late."
Nathaniel's heart clenched at her words, and pain began behind his eyes. The beginnings of a stress headache if ever he had felt one.
"I thank you for your advice, Aunt," Nathaniel said, hoping that would be an end to it. "If I ever have cause to use it, I promise I shall."
When he looked up at her, his aunt was glowering at him as though she thought him the most stubborn, foolish man she had ever laid eyes upon.
"Was there something else you wished to discuss with me?" Nathaniel asked uncomfortably when she made no move to dismiss herself.
"Not discuss per say," Lady McGilligan said, shaking her head. She smiled at him then and added, "I have decided I shall be joining you on your return to London. It has been too long since I saw my family, and your mother always insists upon my visiting. It seems only convenient that my nephew should escort me."
Nathaniel was surprised at his aunt's words. She had not travelled to London in some ten years, definitely not since the death of her Scottish husband several years earlier.
Perhaps she is finally fed up of her own loneliness,Nathaniel thought, gritting his teeth against the fact he had just admitted to himself that he was in fact quite lonely. Forcing a smile, he added, "I would be pleased to escort you, Aunt."
"Good, then I shall bid you goodnight and hope you shall retire to your bed before too long," Lady McGilligan said as she wandered back to the door, her hands clasped before her. "The journey home shall be an even longer one than your outward voyage if you refuse to admit your feelings."
Before Nathaniel could offer any kind of protest, his aunt was gone from the room, clicking the door closed behind her once more. She was more than a little infuriating, arriving and dropping her advice like a bomb before disappearing off again into the shadows.
And yet, a part of him knew she was right. After their last proper conversation, all Nathaniel had wanted to do was tell Ella the truth, but something in his gut was stopping him. And he was almost certain it was the fear of rejection.
Chapter 28
The journey back to London was perhaps even more uncomfortable than the journey to Scotland had been. Though Ella's sister was now safely at her side, it was clear it would take some time for them to recover.
For the most part, Louisa was silent, but Ella refused to leave her side, wanting to make sure she was as comfortable and well cared for as possible. Though things had clearly changed between them, Ella was glad they were not at each other's throats as they had been before her sister's disappearance.
When she thought of it, however, she couldn't help feeling guilty at the fact that perhaps she might have been able to prevent all that had happened if she had just taken a step back and listened to Louisa, maybe even tried gently to get her to see the truth rather than the impulsive way she had reacted.
Focusing on her sister at least gave her an excuse to stay away from Nate. After their last night together, when he had given his lacklustre proposal, she was unable to look him in the eye for fear that she might see something she disliked or, worse, that the nobleman might take his offer away entirely.
Yet, he seemed just as determined to avoid her, and she could not exactly say she blamed him. Their time together would shortly draw to an end, and after what she had said to him, she was certain he was well within his rights to forget all that had ever happened between them during their time away.
What happened in Scotland could stay in Scotland. At least, that was what she told herself, yet her heart broke at the thought of returning to her old life without him.
I do not want him if I only have him for propriety's sake,she told herself several times, though she wondered whether it was better than not having him at all.
Though the journey home wasn't any longer than it had been going to Scotland, it felt like it. However, the moment Ella stood upon the deck with Louisa by her side, watching the London docks draw near, she felt a sinking in her gut. Soon she and Nate would be parted, and her plan to have avoided him for the entire journey suddenly seemed foolish.
This is not the time to be thinking of myself,Ella told herself as the ship docked. She wrapped her arm protectively around her sister. Though the weather was not nearly so harsh as it had been in Scotland, it was still quite bitter beside the sea, and the moisture in the air clung to their clothes no matter how many layers they wore.
As they departed the ship, having thanked Captain Fischer, who had returned them safely home, Ella was most shocked to find an entire party waiting to greet them.
"Mama! Papa!" she exclaimed, thrilled to see them both looking so well. The last time she had seen her father, she feared she might never see him again. But now he stood proudly beside his wife, ready to greet their daughters. And beside him was the Duke of Worthington, looking just as pleased to be welcoming his son home.
Ella guided Louisa over to their parents, noticing how her sister would not look either of them in the eye. And for a second, she feared that her sister might remain as mute as she had been their entire journey home.
Then, she raised her head slightly and said in a soft whisper, "Can you ever forgive me?"
Lord and Lady Partridge glanced at each other in astonishment before they lunged forward, wrapping their youngest daughter in their arms.
"There is nothing to forgive!" the earl announced.
"We just wish you had come to us before all this and told us the truth!" their mother added, and Ella, feeling tears threatening, threw her arms around her family; her heart swelled at the thought of their being back together.
"Don't ever scare us like that again," Ella whispered into her sister's ear, jokingly adding, "I don't intend to travel all the way to Scotland again."
Unless it’s with him,a small voice said in the back of her mind, and Ella glanced around her sister's head to Nate where he had gone to meet his father along with his aunt.
