Page 26 of Awakening a Lord's Desires
Embarrassed, he led the horse out of the stall and watched as the boy settled the saddle over the back of the horse and buckled it tightly.
“Thank you.” He jumped up on his horse and rode off into the morning, this time in the complete opposite direction of where he usually would ride in order to meet Miss Caroline.
But he hadn’t been able to bring himself to see her, not after the kiss, not after the discovery that she was being courted by another. Oliver had tried to talk to him about it, but he’d remained sullen in the house, not saying much of anything and asking only for more wine and entertainments.
That was the easier way to go about it. His whole world had changed, but it had not changed for her. She had been only victim to a moment, while he feared he was now victim to a lifetime.
It had been so much more than the usual desires he’d felt in the past. She was beautiful, to be sure, and she drew him in like no other. But it was more than the feel of her body against his that he wanted. He was drawn to the workings of her mind, the way she was different from everyone else he’d ever met.
After hearing her stepmother disparage her as she had, he felt angry for her. And the way Miss Caroline had spoken of her stepmother, too, told him that there was something happening there that made her unhappy at home. And Mr Thornhill’s arrival did nothing to help assuage that unhappiness.
He rode to the local village and wandered the streets, his mind thinking of little else but Miss Caroline. Truly, he had not thought of marriage seriously in any way before this moment. If his mother knew what was on his mind, he was certain she would be quite pleased with his choice and rather shocked he was sure that he was thinking of marriage at all.
But marriage certainly could be no hardship to someone like Miss Turner.
By the time he returned home, he was growing angry at himself. He had always considered himself to be rather self-possessed. But this situation was showing a new side to him that he did not like. And what if they wed and he was like this, always unable to think straight, unable to focus, unable to achieve really anything?
He had also been suspicious of people ever since he was younger but especially once he began joining the Season. People like Mr. Thornhill attended dinners and dances in order to look well to others. They had money on their minds as well as status and reputation.
There seemed to be nothing genuine about most of the people Charles had met in his time. And yet, as soon as he’d met Miss Caroline, she had quickly evaded all his defenses. He had begun to care for her much faster than he had ever expected. And he had no idea how she had done that.
But as he returned the horse to the stables and walked in the door, he didn’t quite know what he was to do with the feelings that he had. They did not seem to want to go away, and he could not seem as he usually could to put them away into a box until they could be pulled out and made useful.
Which they will never be since she is courted by Lord Fitzroy. She did not deny it.
The butler met him in the entryway. “My Lord, there is a dinner tonight, you must remember. Will you be in attendance?”
“Oh yes, I had quite forgotten,” he said, removing his gloves and hat and passing them to the butler.
He was tempted to say no. It was far easier to ignore the situation instead of embarrassing himself yet again with such an outright expression of his affection for the young lady. The kiss he’d given her was proof that he desired her and more.
But then he remembered the feel of her sinking against his body. Her mouth gently opening to his, her fingertips curling in the hair at the base of his neck. She had kissed him back. And with fervor. A spark of hope sprung up inside him.
Yes. I will go.
“Excellent, My Lord.” The butler smiled. “I will tell the valet to be ready for you this evening.”
The butler left him to walk his own way to the breakfast room. He hoped he had made the right decision.
Chapter 27
“Remember to smile, Caroline,” Penelope whispered to her just before they entered the home of the dinner party.
It was Mr Merryweather’s house, and despite his awkwardness and desire to foist his dull nephew upon anyone who would listen to the young man, he had a fine home, and his dinner parties were of the most pleasurable ones. There was always dancing and music.
Normally, Caroline looked forward to the event where she could talk with Matilda and Alex and they could dance the night away, laughing about the times they had during the Season. But that evening, she felt as though she had two battles to fight. One was to get Alexander to finally show his affection for Matilda instead of letting Max take over, seeking out that advantageous marriage he so desperately desired.
The other was to figure out the truth of Lord Charles and to make certain he knew she and Lord Fitzroy were not in a courtship. That she was perfectly available to accept his advances. Her cheeks flushed at that ridiculous thought and the images that followed.
“Did you hear me, Caroline?” Penelope asked, nudging her elbow.
“Yes, Penelope,” she said, a little harshly, feeling frustrated that her father never seemed to stop his young wife from criticizing his daughter.
He thought all Penelope was doing was her duty, the duty she apparently was very eager for. But Caroline knew that even though they had known these people for many years, always coming together in out of Season to meet in the countryside, Penelope still cared about her reputation, and the way she and her stepdaughter looked to others.
And she wanted Max to have his chance at one of the young ladies among the party. Caroline had to listen to her admonishments so that she did not embarrass the family.
Inside, everyone was gathered in the rather grand sitting room in the front of the house. Mr Merryweather greeted them warmly, and then Caroline freed herself from Max, Penelope, and her father to find Matilda. At least she could prevent Max from beginning there. There were two other young ladies among the party, and while she knew them and did not wish them to have to marry Max, she preferred that Matilda be free.
