Page 49 of Awakening a Lord's Desires
“What are you doing?” he grumbled, pulling out of Oliver’s grasp once they were out of doors in the fresh air.
“Saving you from doing an act of violence, friend,” Oliver said, leaning against the balustrade and staring at him with a narrow-eyed gaze. “I have known you long enough to know when you are at the end of your tether. The more Max spoke to you, the more I could practically see smoke pouring out of your ears. Go on, then, tell me what he said.”
Charles stomped over to the balustrade and looked out, breathing hard into the night, wishing he could yell at the top of his lungs and hear it echo against the walls of the house.
“Caroline is to marry Max.”
“Dear God,” Oliver replied.
Chapter 49
Someone intercepted Caroline on her way to go to Penelope and Charles and stop whatever was happening, and she remained to speak with them for a few minutes to be polite. But when the person went away, the path was clear toward Penelope and Max. They were in quiet conversation with smiles on their faces, and Caroline wanted to scream.
She didn’t know what had transpired between them, but she was certain it was something bad. She could feel it in the air. And if that wasn’t enough, Penelope turned at that very moment to look at her, and a wicked smile crossed her face. Caroline didn’t move from the spot, and an ache filled her chest. She put her hand there, hoping to rub it out, but it would not budge.
She has told him about her plans. But how did she know of our affection?
Caroline looked around for Charles, for she certainly could not approach Penelope then, in the middle of a ballroom, when rage was now a hardened rock inside of her. She had no notion of what she might do or say, and she would not have her life cut open and shown to everyone around them. It was far too humiliating as it was, and her father perhaps lay dying at that very moment.
The balcony. He has likely gone outside.
She went towards the doors, feeling dizzy, wondering if she could possibly explain it all clearly to him. They had never argued before, and so she did not know how he would react. He had been so disappointed when he’d believed that Alexander was courting her, and he hadn’t let her explain right away then. But now—now, it was so much worse. What would he say? Would he even take the time to listen to her?
Outside, she saw a few couples in conversation, and then she found him, wandering on his own in the lit garden below, his hands behind his back and his eyes down at his booted feet. Her heart, racing in her chest, twisted in agony as she rushed down the steps towards him. She slowed her gait, not wanting to make anyone suspicious of anything unusual, as she walked up behind him.
“Charles, please,” she said. “Let me explain.”
“What is there to explain?” he asked. “Your stepmother has explained everything quite clearly.” He did not turn around, and Caroline could feel tears in her eyes at the sound of the ice in his voice.
“No, she was incorrect. She is only trying to—”
“To what?” he asked harshly, turning around to face her. Even in the dim light, she could see the hurt in his eyes. “To inform me of what you were not brave enough to tell me? That Max and you have been secretly courting since his arrival? That you are now engaged?”
“What? No, Charles, please!” she replied in a harsh whisper, but he put a hand up.
“I will not listen to this. You have had excuses before, and it seems you are trying again to pull the wool over my eyes. What a fool I was to think that you cared for me. That there was going to be a future.”
Her heart skipped a beat. He wanted a future with her? She hadn’t been sure of it, since they still had kept their courtship a secret, but now the beautiful truth of his feelings was here in front of her, so close yet so far away.
“Charles, if you will only listen, I can tell you everything. Penelope is just—”
“A conniving, terrible woman, who only has designs on hurting you? That is how you made it seem, but now I am not so sure. Why else would she tell me such a thing if it was not true? What point would there be in it?” He turned away again. “I don’t want to see you anymore, Caroline. I’m leaving.”
Caroline felt her heart break. “No, I beg of you,” she said, just above a whisper, tears in her voice. “I want to tell you all.”
“Good night.” He walked off, and Caroline put a hand over her mouth to keep out a cry of despair and to keep herself from calling out to him.
There were too many people around; there was too much at stake, and she could not let herself race after him to force him to listen to her. But why was he being so obstinate and stubborn? Did he not care enough for her to give her a chance to explain? Why did he suddenly believe the lies that fell from Penelope and Max’s mouths?
She turned away, unable to watch as she disappeared through the balcony doors back into the ballroom. A tear fell, but she brushed it away. She had been taught to be strong all her life, that a woman should never show her emotions. But her strength had never been tested as it was being tested in that moment, and she had no idea if she would be able to make it through.
Chapter 50
Caroline was not yet ready to return to the ballroom, to see the smug looks on Penelope’s and Max’s faces just yet. She could also not yet bear the thought of the return journey home that night in the carriage, for what was there to say? Did she dare bare her heart to Penelope and Max about her love for Charles? That it was he she wanted to wed and not Max, never Max, even if Penelope said it was her father’s idea?
“Caroline, what are you doing out here?” Matilda asked, stepping closer with Alexander at her heels. “I watched you leave, and when you did not come back, I feared something had gone wrong.”
Caroline swallowed back her tears and let out a shaky breath. Wrapping her arms about herself, she tried to keep from shattering into pieces. It took several seconds before she could find her voice.
