Page 51 of Awakening a Lord's Desires
“She is to marry Max, and that is the end of it. I will not stop her, for she has kept this secret from me this whole time, and now she thinks that she could have continued keeping it until the fateful wedding day?”
“You fool!” Lord Fitzroy said, stepping closer. “The woman I love and Caroline’s dear friend, Matilda, wants me to marry Caroline instead to save her from this situation with Penelope and Max. Penelope will not be stopped unless someone stops her.”
“But I do not want to marry Caroline, for we are not lovers but friends. It is time for you to wake up, My Lord, and see that things are not what they appear to be. There is something you can do to help, but I will do what I need to do if the woman I truly love wishes it.”
Charles didn’t know what to say to that, and he heard his carriage rolling up behind him.
“Think on it, Lord Charles,” the man said, and he turned away, running back up the steps to the house.
Charles entered his carriage and, as he hit the top of it to urge the driver forward, leaned back in the seat. He was now more confused than ever. What was the truth of things? And why would Matilda wish Alexander to marry Caroline instead of Max? He pressed a finger to his temple and wished to be in his study, a bottle of whisky before him. He would get no sleep that night, and something niggled at him.
He had a feeling that Alexander was right.
Chapter 52
On the carriage ride home, Caroline felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her eyes remained fixed on the window, but she could feel the gazes of Penelope and Max on her as they left the ball.
“It will be a beautiful wedding, and all of society will be there. I will make sure of it, Caroline,” Penelope said.
Caroline did not reply.
Max said, “That is good, Aunt. I am so looking forward to my entrée into society. I think we shall do very well together, Caroline. We will be quite the pair, strutting about London during the Season. Don’t you think? Oh, Aunt, you cannot forget to get Caroline a proper trousseau.”
Caroline turned at that, looking horrified at Max, who was still smiling at her through the dim light of the carriage. “We will not marry, Max. Do not plan such a thing, for it will never occur.”
Penelope laughed, not looking the slightest bit perturbed at Caroline’s angry tone. “There you are, fighting again. I thought by now you would have come to your senses. You will marry, Caroline. You have no choice. I will see to it, and I know your father will see to it, too. Max will be a fine partner. You have always known him to be a charming sort, and everyone always likes him.”
She smiled at Caroline, and Caroline turned away, rage burning her from the inside out. She felt as if the carriage ride would be interminable, but eventually, they arrived, all silent, and she hurried out of the carriage and up the door to her room. There, she called for her maid to help her out of her gown, and then she was left on her own. She asked after her father, but he was still not to be disturbed, and her maid told her that there was still no improvement.
Sitting in her nightrobe before the fire, she put her head in her hand and stared into the flames. This was intolerable. She felt stuck because Penelope was making her feel as if there was no other option. But there certainly was; she simply had to find out how to get out of it and what the other option was. Slowly, she rose, determined.
In the past, she might have asked her father for help, but now he was indisposed, and she didn’t want to put this on him. This was a battle for her own life and future, and she wanted to handle it herself. Penelope believed her to be weak, that she would never fight back against her plans for her to marry Max.
“But I will, and I can,” she whispered to herself as her mind began to make plans.
I will go to him tonight. I will not let him push me aside so easily. He will listen to me, and I will explain everything. If I come at night, he will be forced to listen at the very least, seeing what lengths to which I have gone to explain and exonerate myself.
The plan was mad, and Caroline was afraid, but at the same time, determined that this was what she would do. She could not sit idly by while a woman who had never been a mother to her in any sense took over her life and did the very thing she did not wish her to do: force her into a marriage with a terrible man.
She pulled a heavy cloak from her wardrobe and tied it tightly. She put on her boots and lifted the hood over her head. She left the room quietly, tiptoeing down to the kitchens where she knew there were lanterns, and the door to the outside. One lantern was left lift, and she grabbed it, hurrying out the door and into the night.
Caroline knew the land around her Kentish home like the back of her hand. She lifted her cloak with one hand and held up the lantern with the other. Even so, she needed to take her time and step carefully. There were many holes and places to trip along the way, and she wanted to be entirely focused and healthy when she approached Charles.
Her words spun in her head. What would she tell him? How could she demand to be seen? Her only hope was that he would be too much of a gentleman to turn her away back into the night without hearing what she had to say.
It took a half an hour of traipsing across the fields to his estate, and then she was in front of the large front door, holding her lantern high, her heart in her throat. It is the moment of truth. We will take the step forward together. Or there will be no step at all.
With her last ounce of courage, Caroline knocked on the door.
Chapter 53
Charles had never thought he was a wallower in his own misery, but that night was different. It was late, and he’d had a bit too much whisky to drink, but his situation hadn’t gotten any easier or his hopes any brighter. The only thing that had eased was his initial shock and anger over the whole incident. He felt he could talk about it more calmly, and the guilt at how he had treated her was becoming a little unbearable.
What will I say to her now, if I ever see her again?
“My Lord,” the night footman said, slowly entering the room. “I knocked a few times but heard no reply.”
“Oh, that is quite all right. What is it?”
