Page 79 of A Duke's Lustful Portrait
“This is me, Arabella. I am so very, very sorry I lied to you but—”
“But you had to find a way to take revenge on my father?”
He looked down at his lap and nodded.
“I heard everything,” she continued. “What my father did to your mother was abhorrent. I am so dreadfully sorry, Sebastian. If I could take it back, I would.”
At her words, his head shot up. “Good Lord, no! You have no reason whatsoever to be sorry.Youcaused none of this. You’ve been nothing but lovely and kind and honest. I have been planning this move for a long time, but never in my years of scheming did I think I would fall in love. But I have.”
She smiled sadly at him. “I was terrified you were going to kill my father,” she said. “He is a bad man, but he is still my father.”
“I know,” he said, his voice barely a croak.
“And if you had killed him,” she continued, “then you would have been no better than him—a murderer.”
“I know that, too.” He turned and looked into the fire, mesmerized by the flames that licked the grate. “I would never have done so. I am not capable of it, but more than that—you’ve made me want to be a good man, a better man.”
“Were you not a good man before?” She huffed and shook her head, her eyes to the ceiling. “I feel as if I don’t know a thing about you!”
“Then let me tell you.”
And so he did. He told her everything, from the day he discovered his mother’s body to the day he discovered Arabella herself. He told her all about The Gentlemen and the bad things he did with them. He told her about Hector Ravenswood and how he had revealed the Lord’s Society to him. He explained how he had been hoping to discover and reveal her father’s secrets all along.
“For a commoner, you play the role of a duke very well,” she said.
“I had a good teacher—and, of course, access to Hector’s houses and his wealth. I don’t know when, if at all, he’ll return from his travels, but I know he won’t mind that I’ve put his things to good use.”
She nodded, throwing him a weak smile. “Your life is so very different to that which I imagined.”
“But my love for you was and always will be true,” he said quickly. “I have lied to you in many ways, but not in that way.” She could hear the desperation in his voice, and she understood. She felt desperate, too.
“And the person I have fallen in love with?” she asked, looking up at him with hope. “Is he real?”
Please let him be real.
Gently, carefully, he put his hand on her arm. She felt it just as she had felt it the first time they had touched—that spark, that kindle of something igniting within her. That had been real.
“Every time we were alone, I was the real Sebastian. Every time we kissed, it was real. Every time I whispered sweet words in your ear, it was real. When we laughed, it was real. When we talked late into the night about our dreams and our goals, when I told you about my love for books and my desire to live abroad—all that was real. The lies tore me apart, but whenever I was with you, I could be real.”
She smiled at him, and then, without thinking, she shifted on the couch until she was closer to him, his body brushing against hers, just enough to tease her. She rested her head on his shoulder, then nuzzled into him.Thiswas real. She could feel it in every fibre of her being. After a moment’s hesitation, he put an arm around her and kissed the top of her head.
“I was so worried I’d never see you again,” she whispered against his shirt.
“I would never have let that happen. But, Arabella, there is one more thing you should know.”
She sat upright again, annoyed that she had let herself be swayed by his sweet words. There was more. There was always more.
“What is it?” she asked tightly.
He pressed his lips together before answering as if steadying himself. “I am going to turn myself in to the constable. I committed many crimes in my youth, and it is only fair that I, now, pay the price.”
“But I will lose you when I have only just found you again!” she cried, feeling the ball of anxiety in the pit of her stomach churn.
He shook his head. “Only temporarily if that’s what you wish. But I cannot be so bold as to ask you to wait for me. You have a life ahead of you, and you must live it, even if that means leaving me behind.”
Chapter 38
One week later
