Page 41 of Scars of a Passionate Revenge
“I do not feel in charge!” he said with a laugh, but he dropped his shoulders and relaxed his hands a little, and they began to walk along the lane together. Alice barely needed to think about her own horse, so confident a rider was she, and she was therefore able to focus all her attention on Benedict.
“You are doing so well!” she said, once they had travelled a little way down the lane. “How do you feel?”
He gave a rather nervous cough. “I feel fine,” he said in a slightly strangled tone.
She laughed. “Well, perhaps you look more confident than you feel, but honestly, Benedict, no one would take you for a novice rider, the way you are holding yourself in the saddle now.”
He turned and looked at her, a broad smile on his face. “Do you really think so?”
“Of course,” she replied. “I would never lie to you.”
As the words slipped out of her mouth, she realized that they were not entirely accurate. She had never lied to him, but she had held things back from him, not told him the whole truth.
He looked at her a little strangely, then turned his head again to face straight ahead, and she sensed that he had thought the same thing too. They were so close, now, in so many ways, but there were still things between them that remained unspoken.
They rode on in silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. Alice was thinking of the events of the week so far. She and Benedict had managed to spend a lot of time together, but almost always in the company of others. They had scarcely had a chance to be alone, except for their riding excursions, and now they were alone at last. Her thoughts roamed to places that she knew they should not go, but she allowed it just the same.
They reached a clearing and the horses drew to a halt, clearly wishing to rest for a while and graze on the lush grass.
Benedict glanced at her a little tentatively. “Shall we dismount and tie the horses here, then walk for a while?”
She nodded and jumped down from her horse, then looped his reins around a tree.
They followed a path that led away from the clearing. Alice knew these woods well, but there were still places that she had never been, and as they progressed down the path, the surrounding undergrowth became a little thicker, forcing them to walk closer together.
“Tell me some more about our childhood summer together, Alice,” Benedict said softly.
She looked at him curiously. “I never can quite tell if you want to talk about those times, or now,” she replied. “It seems sometimes to cause you pain.”
“It does,” he responded, “because I wish that I could remember it too, but I like to hear you talk of it.”
Alice felt a flicker of sadness that their memories were not shared. “I am so sorry that you cannot remember everything, Benedict. We had such a fine time together.” She paused for a moment, sifting through her memories to select one to tell him about. “Do you remember how we used to take books outside and sit beneath a tree together? I would read to you, and sometimes you would take your turn and read to me, ensuring that all the characters had different voices?”
He smiled. “I wish I could remember that. It sounds wonderful.”
She sighed. “And how I wish you could remember the day when we fell asleep under just such a tree. The weather had been growing cooler, and I had brought a blanket to wrap over us. And when we woke up, it was dark outside. We knew we would both be in terrible trouble when we returned home, so we decided to stay out a little longer—nothing would be lost, after all, as we would be in trouble in any case.”
She glanced at him to see if there was any flicker of recollection in his response, but she saw only his open face, looking at her curiously, seeming to will her to go on.
She closed her eyes and conjured up the memory in her mind. “The stars were just coming out, twinkling in the darkening sky. I had never learnt the names of the shapes, you know, the constellations. But you knew them all, and you told me their names. We stayed outside for another hour at least, not wanting to go home.”
Not wanting to be apart, she finished in her mind, but she did not dare to say those words out loud. Not yet. Not when she still was not completely sure of his feelings.
They continued walking through the woodland, and Benedict did not respond for a while. But then, as the path narrowed, their hands brushed together, and Alice felt a feeling like an electric shock coursing through her body at the touch of his hand. Her heart began to pound, and her skin tingled.
She looked at him, awe-struck that just the touch of his hand could bring about such feelings in her.
He stopped walking and held her gaze. “I promise you, Alice, that one day I will show you the stars again, so that it can remain forever in both our memories.”
“Our memories…?” she whispered.
“Yes, we can have more memories together, can we not?” His voice was low, and he moved closer to her, taking her hand in his. Their faces were close now and she parted her lips, willing him to kiss her. Every part of her yearned to feel the warmth of his lips against hers, the depth of his kiss.
He pushed her gently backwards until her back was leaning against a tree by the path. Before she knew it, their mouths were pressed together, and she could feel his passion in the way that he was kissing her.
He pulled away for a moment and stared at her intensely. “You are so beautiful, Alice. I cannot help myself.”
She let out a sigh and leaned forward to kiss him again. She knew she could not speak her desire, but she could show it. She heard his breath hitching in his throat as she dared to gently push her tongue into his mouth. His arms were around her now and she felt his grip tightening around her waist.
