Page 121 of Knotting the Firefighters
Excellent question.
Let me compile the depressing list.
"Let's see—" I begin cataloging with false brightness, humor masking how pathetic this sounds spoken aloud. "They allowed me to work, which was generous considering I paid a portion of rent since LA is absurdly expensive, and apparently my salary was a necessary contribution."
I tick points off on my fingers, each one feeling more humiliating than the last.
"I handled all cleaning and household maintenance despite them rarely being home. Never ate meals together, even during holidays, because I'd rather be on-call than suffer through awkward dinners where I was clearly unwanted. Never received gifts unless they served some purpose—work events requiring a presentable partner, social functions where my Fire Chief status reflected well on them."
Keep going.
Might as well reveal the full extent of dysfunction.
"They never planned dates—those had to be 'earned' through unspecified criteria that changed based on their moods. If they did include me in social activities, it was galas or networking events that brought them financial gain or professionalconnections. I was a decorative asset rather than a beloved partner."
The list continues—each point another nail in the coffin of that relationship, another piece of evidence proving I should have left years earlier.
"I've never done 'typical' pack things. Never experienced the bonding activities everyone references—group outings, shared hobbies, the particular intimacy that's supposed to develop through daily proximity and mutual care. It was a transactional arrangement masquerading as a relationship, a business partnership where I provided status and income in exchange for?—"
I trail off, realizing I don't actually know what I got in exchange.
Safety?
Clearly not, given they tried to murder me.
Companionship?
Hard to claim companionship with people who actively avoid my presence.
Love?
Definitely not love.
Never love.
The silence following my explanation is deafening—four Alphas processing information that apparently violates every expectation they had about pack behavior.
Bear speaks first, his voice carrying unusual gravity:
"That's changing as of today."
What?
I frown, confusion evident.
"What do you mean?"
"If we're going to 'act' the part of being your pack—" He makes air quotes around 'act', clearly disagreeing with the characterization. "—then you're experiencing what properpack dynamics actually entail. Real support, genuine care, the activities and intimacy you've been systematically denied."
Real pack dynamics.
Like I'm some rehabilitation project.
Broken Omega requires instruction in basic relationship functions.
"This is a temporary arrangement," I remind them, needing to maintain that boundary. "Like free trial subscription. Three months to test compatibility, then everyone returns to their regularly scheduled lives."
Right?
