Page 19 of His Loving Guidance
He crossed his arms and his expression darkened.
She raised an eyebrow at him, mimicking the stern expression he’d leveled on her. She resumed clicking her nails on the counter. Faster and louder than before.
* * *
Unbelievable. They were at it again, engaged in a ridiculous fight like two siblings kicking each other under the dinner table. Her clicking her nails. Him barking at her to stop. For fuck’s sake, this had to end.
Marcus cleared his throat and felt his eyebrow lift higher. Still, she kept clicking.Click click click.A smile split across her face, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
He advanced in her direction, but paused halfway to her. She paled and stopped clicking her nails. He itched to give her a proper spanking. Lord knew she needed it. She’d been asking for one for months. But every time he put her over his knee, he couldn’t even pull her pants down. An image of her skinny, sickly form would flash in his mind, and he’d freeze up. How could he possibly hurt her when she’d endured so much pain?
Fear held him captive. The fear of hurting her. The fear of losing her. All the fears he’d experienced during her two rounds of chemo became stuck on repeat, and try as he might he couldn’t shake them away.
“I’m sorry, Marcus.” She broke his gaze and studied her feet. “I’m just so frustrated. Why can’t it be like before? The spanking and the domestic discipline part of our marriage. It’s so . . . so half assed now. Pardon the pun,” she said with a brief smile. “And you not allowing me to travel like I used to is unfair. I feel trapped. Trapped in some ways and too free in other ways. It’s been a year since my remission you know.”
“Sweetheart . . .” He stopped himself from delivering his usual speech. About how it would take time to find their roles again. Christ, had it really been a year? He counted the months backward in his head, and yes, it had been a year.
The pain in Stephie’s eyes wrenched at his heart. She appeared lost as she stood before him in the kitchen, her hair in disarray from her run into the house. Marcus took a deep breath and another step toward her. He wasn’t stupid. He knew what she wanted. She craved his loving authority over her.
But dammit it wasn’t easy. The thought of marking her bottom or bringing her to tears scared the hell out of him. Even though she’d done plenty recently to deserve a punishment spanking, he usually couldn’t bring himself to put her over his knee. Although now she was starting to resent him, and that scared him just as much as the thought of hurting her.
Marcus swallowed hard and rose to his full height. He pinned Stephie against the counter with a hand on either side of her. “All right, sweetheart. I’ll try. I’ll really try. I don’t want to lose you.”
Her face melted. “Baby, you’re not going to lose me. I’m not sick anymore, and I get regular checkups.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He cupped a hand over her heart. “I meant I didn’t want to loseyou. Us. Our marriage.”
Moisture shone in her eyes and she shook her head. “You won’t.” She grinned. “You’re stuck with me for life. Annoying nail clicking habit of mine and all.”
He chuckled, then drew back as his laughter died. He grew serious, and as she fidgeted under his gaze, his cock began to harden against her thigh. An idea sprung into his mind, and he seized on it before the usual seeds of doubts had time to take root.
“Speaking of that annoying nail clicking habit, hold out your hand. The left one. Palm up.” He reached around her to a container holding various kitchen implements and grabbed the smallest wooden spoon.
Her eyes had grown impossibly wide, and she stared up him with her lips parted slightly. Little gasps emitted from her as her breathing increased. She squirmed in place.
“I don’t like repeating myself, young lady. Now hold out your hand like a good girl, palm up.” He backed away, giving her enough room to reach out and do as he’d asked. He’d paddled her bottom plenty of times with wooden spoons, but he’d never cracked a spoon, or anything else, across her palm before. The idea had taken him by surprise.
Slowly, she lifted her arm and reached toward him, finally turning her hand over. Her palm flattened and she tensed, as if expecting him to begin immediately. But he wasn’t ready yet. She needed a good scolding.
“Tell me why you’re in trouble, little girl.”
She gasped and her breathing increased further. “I . . . I was trying to make you angry. Poking the bear, so to speak. I was rude to you today, too. Is-is that all?” Head bowed slightly as she awaited punishment, she offered the perfect picture of submission. His cock twitched again, and his balls tightened. Hard and hot. Tingling. It had been so long since he’d truly put her in her place. The thrill of dominating her, even during a serious punishment, had never ceased to arouse him. He’d missed that thrill and reveled in the invigorating power coupled with responsibility and love.
“Yes, Stephie. You were very disrespectful to me today, especially in the restaurant when you were muttering curse words under your breath. Do I speak to you that way?
She sighed. “No.”
“No, what?”
“No, sir,” she quickly corrected.
“I love you, sweetheart, and I’m sorry we’re going through a rough patch right now and it’s got you frustrated. But that doesn’t mean you get to disrespect me. I’m your husband and I won’t have it.”
“Yes, sir. I’m so sorry.” Her voice wavered as alarm filled her features.
He brought the spoon down with a thwack, hitting the center of her palm. She flinched but remained in place. Again he brought the spoon down, and again. Ten sharp strikes and her skin finally began to redden. After the twelfth blow, she drew her hand back a few inches.
“Tsk, tsk,” he said. “Do you want me to make you hold out both your hands at the same time?”
Her eyes widened and she shook her head. Biting her lip, she reached out and braced for the next smack of the spoon. Marcus didn’t make her wait long. He landed the underside of the spoon atop her palm a dozen more times, the blows mimicking the sound of a bare bottom spanking.
Whimpers escaped her, and pain pinched her face into a grimace. He returned the spoon to its container and gathered Stephie’s hands in his. It was then that he noticed tears glistening in her eyes. She blinked them away, looking embarrassed. He hadn’t brought her to tears during a punishment in, well, since before her illness. The glimmer of tears proved she felt truly disciplined, and it marked a milestone in their journey back to one another.
“I’m sorry,” she said, almost breathless. Her expression had grown urgent and remorseful. Another sheen of tears appeared in her eyes, and she blinked again and again, forcing them back. She’d always been stoic during punishments, and Marcus knew from experience it took a lot to make Stephie cry. A thorough scolding followed by a thorough spanking. He vowed to bring her past the brink of tears next time she earned a punishment, to take them both to another milestone.
“It’s all forgiven. Come here, sweetheart.” Her hair tickled his nose as he pulled her against his body. She sighed contentedly, and he squeezed her tighter, praying this moment signaled a new beginning. A chance to reclaim all the precious time they’d lost.
