Page 3 of Papa's Captive
Every day, Rosie struggled to forget, to blot those nightmares from her mind. Lord Caldwell’s entrance in her life had done wonders to improve her mood and put the dark thoughts further into the recesses of her memory.
Why has he not come to call?Rosie recounted every look and word of their most recent time together. Had she been too distant? Should she have smiled more? During his last visit when Garland had been briefly distracted by a squirrel, Lord Caldwell had slipped his arm around Rosie’s waist and pulled her to his side. Her breath had caught in her throat and she both hoped and feared he would kiss her. His nearness had stirred up the achy longing within her with a power which caused her to panic and she put her hands up to block his advances.
He had taken it with characteristic good humor. “Ah, you are a shy one, my Rosie. So much sweeter the prize when won.”
But she knew all too well how gentlemen were schooled in flattery and sweet talk. Enough so that they could easily persuade a young lady to believe herself in love, to believe his flim-flam. Often to their detriment, as Rosie could attest. And now, with his unexplained absence, the familiar fear crept in again.
Hesitation had caused her to only tell Daisy about her betrothal, though she ought not to have been surprised when Daisy had not been able to keep such tantalizing information to herself. However, if Lord Caldwell cried off the wedding and declined to be her papa, Rosie would be left with the humiliating task of informing her friends.
Perhaps she hoped Lord Caldwell would call off the marriage. It would save her the heart wrenching decision and spare him the possible shame.
It was not as though she did not wish for her married friends to know, but there was this bit of lingering doubt...perhaps more than a bit...that the marriage would actually happen. In those quiet moments when Rosie looked deep into her heart, she knew she loved Lord Caldwell and wished more than anything to be his wife and little girl. She also knew that pretending she could leave her old life and her family’s shame behind by calling herself Rosie and refusing to divulge anything about her past was not a sufficient barricade from her shame, and the shame she would bring to anyone or any family with whom she became aligned. The right and honorable thing to do would be to sever all ties with Lord Caldwell and send him on his way to find a proper wife who would not tarnish his good reputation.
And yet, the mere concept of never seeing him again, his rogue-ish grin, his dancing eyes. Never hear his warm voice as it wafted over her and made her tummy do funny things. Rosie considered herself a moral and ethical person, always striving to do what she ought, but in this instance, she could not muster the courage to do so. She told herself it would be cruel to shame Lord Caldwell by breaking off the engagement.
But the honest, ugly truth of it was that Rosie wanted to be his bride. Wanted more than anything to be Lady Caldwell and live anew with the man she loved. It was a despicable risk. Did she have the courage to do the right thing?
