Page 36 of Papa's Captive
Gathering her closer, he kissed each of her gloved hands in turn and gave her what he hoped was a look of reassurance. “Relax, my sweet. You don’t need my permission to wear something intended to protect you from the elements. Please pardon me for not telling you so sooner.”
Her shoulders relaxed and most of the trepidation faded from her eyes. “Thank you, Papa.”
He released his hold on her and offered her his arm. She accepted, her hand clasping firmly around his elbow and they walked through the flourishing gardens for several minutes in silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts.
The gardens were not William’s favorite place to take a stroll, but Rosie seemed to be enjoying the scenery so he did not wish to suggest they return to the castle just yet. His late mother had suffered from severe despondency, and William’s father had always urged her to spend as much time outdoors as possible in the belief that it would help alleviate her depression. It was the reason Craigmul Castle, Caldwell House, and Bridgeport Manor all boasted the largest, most lush and most colorful of gardens. William’s father had employed numerous groundskeepers over the years to tend to the gardens in an effort to please his afflicted wife. Sometimes a new rosebush or an exotic flower imported all the way from India had made her smile. Most of the time, however, nothing had made her smile. She had spent many of her days sitting and staring, not speaking to anyone.
“Tell me about your parents,” Rosie said, as if reading his thoughts. She smiled at him from underneath the wide brim of her hat, and though it wasn’t a subject he preferred to discuss, he would not deny her anything.
It was only natural for her to ask about his family and he was surprised she’d taken so long to do so. He took a deep breath and then regaled her with the details of his parents. Shockingly, they’d been married for fourteen years before William was conceived, making his parents much older than most of his peer set’s. He spoke of his father’s love of hunting and racing, and how his mother had painted many of the paintings in the castle, though he left out the fact that she’d painted them before William’s birth. Despite all that he told her, he found himself being rather vague and couldn’t help but feel a stab of guilt.
They were married now. Ought they not tell one another everything?
He had told her several times he expected her honesty and wished to know all that was on her mind, both the good and the bad, with no secrets held between them.
“They sound like most interesting people,” she said. “I wish I could have met them.”
“I am sure they would have adored you, my sweet.”
They finally reached the ends of the gardens and turned back on a path that led to the castle’s rear entrance. William was relieved to be headed back inside. Although the day was warm, he couldn’t help but feel a chill when he walked through the gardens.
“Papa? Is something amiss? You look sad.”
She paused and reached for his hand, squeezing it as she peered up at him with concern filling her pretty blue eyes. His heart contracted to see her worry for him and he was quick to smile, not wishing to burden her with the awful truth of his mother’s demise. Or the guilt he felt in connection to her death. He had tried so hard, so very hard, to make her smile over the years. His entire childhood had been spent trying to improve her disposition, but nothing he did had worked for long. She had occasionally laughed at his jokes or cheerful antics, however the sad faraway look never failed to return to her gaze.
“ ‘Tis childbirth that made milady this way. Her entire disposition changed after wee William was born.”
Words he’d overheard whispered from one maidservant to another when he was only ten years of age rushed back, bringing along suffocating despair. He stared down at Rosie, at a rare loss for words. What should he tell her in regards to his mother? He valued her honesty and would hope that she never kept such a huge secret from him as he now felt he was keeping from her. She’d asked about his parents and he ought to be completely truthful.
“Papa?” she guided him to a nearby bench and they both sat down. She grasped both his hands in hers. “Papa, I am so sorry for asking about your parents. I realize your father died about a year ago and perhaps the grief of your loss is still quite severe. Forgive me for making you speak of that which clearly makes you sad.” She reached for him and cupped the side of his face.
Rosie’s sweet presence and comfort calmed him and gave him the strength to face his demons. She would find out the truth one day, of that he was certain, whether from gossip in thetonor perhaps overhearing the servants talking. He couldn’t bear for her to feel as if he’d been keeping secrets from her and he cleared his throat, preparing to answer her questions.
He placed a hand over hers and his heart contracted with love for her. Oh, what a sweet lass she was, this little girl who’d fallen into his life. She could deny fate brought them together a thousand times over and he would still believe she was a gift from God. His perfect match.
“My sweet Rosie, you need not apologize for asking me any questions about my parents or my family history. The grief over my father’s passing is still severe at times, I will admit, but it is talk of my mother which has brought up memories I endeavour not to revisit often.”
“Oh, Papa, you poor thing.” She flung her arms open and pounced on him with a fierce hug that took his breath away. Again, his heart contracted. Was it possible to love someone so much you physically ached with the feeling of it? His whole body reverberated with love and longing for her.
“All is well, my dear.” He extracted himself from her embrace just enough to peer down into her gaze. “I am fine. Truly. It is simply that I haven’t been entirely forthcoming with you about my mother. She passed away when I was thirteen years old.” He paused and grasped for the right words, words that would convey the truth about what happened but in the softest way possible. “She had an affliction of sorts. She suffered from severe despondency and one day my father found her in the gardens of our country home. She-she took her own life.”
It was a truth he hadn’t uttered aloud to anyone in his entire life. Yet here he was making a full confession to his sweet wife. Of course, the gardener on duty hadn’t been as discreet as William’s father had hoped and it had been a shocking bit of gossip in the tonfor several months after the former Lady Caldwell’s passing—if further gossip he’d overheard from the servants had been correct. But he’d never once discussed his mother’s death with anyone. Not even his father. They had simply held a private funeral and his father had disappeared into his library for months on end, claiming he had important work to do.
Part of William had feared his father blamed him for his mother’s passing...if there was indeed truth to the gossip he’d overheard about his mother’s disposition changing after William’s birth. His relationship with his father had significantly altered after his mother’s death and William had been sent to boarding school not long after the fateful event.
Tears rolled down Rosie’s face, and he wiped them away with his thumbs. Her empathy astonished him. He hadn’t cried over his mother in years, not since he was a scared thirteen-year-old boy, crying in secret lest his father overhear him and think him not a man. But here Rosie was crying over his mother, a woman she had never met.
A thought suddenly occurred to William. His whole life he’d been drawn to others who weren’t quite as cheerful as him. He liked helping others and making those who were despondent smile or laugh, if only for a moment. Perhaps the darkness he sensed in Rosie, whatever had happened in her past that she’d yet to confide in him about, had prompted his initial attraction to her. An attraction which had led to utter devotion after he’d gotten to know her better.
Truly, she was the sweetest, most compassionate, and charming little miss he had ever encountered. Warmth spread through him as he held her close and kissed her cheeks, tasting the saltiness of her tears as he whispered words of comfort.
Indeed, his love for her knew no bounds.
