Page 29 of Tornn's Mate
Sickness rises in my throat.I delete his most recent message, not bothering to respond even to tell him good-bye.
What the fuck did I just read?
I run a hand through my hair and jump to my feet. As I pace in front of the viewscreen, I can’t help but keep glancing at theJansonna.
I place a hand on my stomach. What if I’m already pregnant but it’s too early to know for certain? Tornn has ejaculated inside me countless times during the last few days. It might’ve already happened. It might be too late.
My heart aches. Not because I’m sad over the possibility that I might be carrying Tornn’s child, but I’m heartbroken over Nathan’s reaction to the prospect. His expectation that I have the pregnancy terminated leaves me both fuming and hurt. What if I’m carrying Tornn’s child when I’m reunited with Nathan, and I want to keep the baby? Would he force me to get rid of the child? Would he leave me if I refused?
A dark thought strikes me. As possessive as Tornn is, I suspect the only way I would ever be reunited with Nathan is if Tornn is dead. My heart breaks at the prospect. I don’t want any harm coming to the admiral, and I’m angry that Nathan is being so secretive.
The Darrvasons could’ve attacked theJansonnaand taken as many females as they wanted. They’re that powerful. But they didn’t attack us. Instead, they offered us an alliance. A trade. If all goes as planned, they’ll lead us to a habitable planet and save humankind from perishing in the darkness of space.
Doubts and worries plague me, and it’s a struggle to paste a smile on my face when Tornn finally returns for the midday meal.
But the moment the huge Darrvason envelops me in his arms and places a kiss atop my head, I melt and can’t deny the warmth that pangs in my chest for him. If I’m being honest, I’m relieved to see him.
“Sweet human,” he says into my ear, “what have you done in my absence?” He draws back to peer down at me, his hands resting upon my shoulders.
Act normal. Act fucking normal…
I gulp hard and gesture at my tablet. “Oh, just the usual. Read for a while. Also walked around your quarters looking for something to do, only for the android to thwart my every attempt at housekeeping. It wouldn’t even allow me to place my own clothes in the closet.” My face burns and I pray he doesn’t detect my lies or the secrets I’m keeping.
My pulse spikes as I recall something ominous Tornn said on the day we first met, and it’s all I can do to keep calm as his sternly spoken words resurface in my mind.
I also have no tolerance for lies. If you ever lie to me, sweet human, I won’t hesitate to take a whip to your bottom. I’m your master, and you are not permitted to keep any secrets from me.
If I was truly loyal to Tornn, surely I would warn him that there was some nefarious plot afoot. But I fear his reaction if I tell him about my conversation with Nathan. How could I be certain he wouldn’t hurt my former fiancé?
I think about the attack on Paddax and my worry deepens. What if Nathan had something to do with it? I suppress a shudder, not wanting Tornn to suspect anything is amiss. I press my face into his chest and mourn the loss of his closeness once he finally separates from me and guides me to the kitchen.
By some miracle, I manage to make it through the midday meal without arousing his suspicions.
Why do I feel so guilty? Surely I’m not developing feelings for the brutish male. It can’t be that.
After we finish our meal, the servant android bustles in and starts clearing the table. I give it a dirty look and Tornn chuckles.
“You’ll be thankful for the android’s help with housekeeping when we have small children running around, sweet human.” His eyes mist over with longing, and I suspect he’s picturing the scene in his mind. My throat burns as I too suddenly imagine children running around his quarters or a cozy house on his homeworld.
“How many children do you want?” I find myself asking, even though it feels like a dangerous question.
The longing in his eyes gleams brighter, and a wistful smile tugs at his lips. “The emperor’s advisors plan to encourage every newly mated couple to have as many children as they possibly can, in the interest of increasing our numbers more quickly. But I feel as thoughfouris the perfect number. Perhaps the Star Gods will bless us with two sons and two daughters.”
The lump in my throat thickens. “I’ve never asked you about how your people rear their children. Will I-I be involved in their upbringing? They won’t be taken away and raised elsewhere, will they?” Why am I asking these questions now? The plot Nathan’s involved in might very well succeed and then I would be ripped away from Tornn before we even had a chance to start a family.
Tornn reaches across the table and grasps my hand, and his expression turns gentle. “We will raise our children together, sweet human. I’m aware that some races raise their offspring in a communal manner, while others send their sons to a warrior camp as soon as they can walk, but that is not the Darrvason way. Our children will attend school for a portion of the day, and our sons will eventually enter an apprenticeship based on their natural talents, but they will reside in our home for years and years, likely until they reach adulthood at the age of nineteen.”
I blink back tears. It sounds like Darrvasons rear their children in a manner similar to humans. And suddenly I’m furious at Nathan and I wish he’d never contacted me today. My feelings for him are so fucking conflicted right now I could scream.
Four days. I’ve only belonged to Tornn for four days and I’m already starting to question the life I’d thought I wanted with Nathan. Or maybe it’s just Nathan that I’m questioning.
My only hope is that you aren’t carrying one of those monster’s babies inside you when that time comes. However, if you are pregnant when we’re reunited, I’m friendly with a doctor who will take care of the situation for you.
As Nathan’s texts play in my mind repeatedly, my anger toward him heightens. How dare he presume that I would want to get rid of Tornn’s child? I think of my mother and sister and Tornn’s promise to keep them safe from my uncle. I also think of my mate’s promise to keep the other Darrvason brides safe.
I feel sick as I contemplate my conversation with Nathan. Though I haven’t known Tornn for very long and I was forced to become his bride, the entire exchange with Nathan feels like a betrayal.
Tornn’s deep longing to start a family is touching, and it makes him seem less forbidding. Itsoftenshim. It makes me want to get to know him better.
