Page 42 of Serpentine Valentine
“Pierce,” I groaned. “God, you’re making this even harder. Don’t you think I know how stupid I am to break up with you? If I was normal, I’d thank God or whoever every day for being your girlfriend. You’re as perfect as they come.”
“Nah, you know I’m a slob, and I have a wicked fucking temper when it’s triggered.” He winced as if remembering some past event. “And obviously, I’m not perfect for you if you can have feelings for someone else.”
“It’s not you,” I said, then winced again when he laughed bitterly. “No, honestly. It’snot. I think…”
Did I owe him this honesty? I wasn’t sure, but I decided it wasn’t a matter of owing him anything. I actually wanted to tell him. To test the words stirring inside my chest. How would I ever know if they were true if I didn’t let them see the light of day?
He waited patiently, still rubbing his thumbs over the balls of my shoulders, bringing me comfort even though I was causing him pain.
I focused on enunciating every single word, framing it in my mouth before releasing it so I wouldn’t throw up.
“I think I might like girls.”
I squeezed my eyes shut like a child that I might block out his reaction. Not because I was scared, exactly, but because it occurred to me that I’d just come out.
Coming out.
What a strange concept for a girl who’d always believed she was straight.
But it felt right, the doing of it and the phrase.
Because I was coming out, out of that easy river into the rapids, into a life that was filled with peaks and troughs, risks and rewards.
It was a cold plunge into those icy waters, but it wasn’t like drowning. No, it was like breaking free of the frigid waves after being chained to the murky depths for years. The light was brighter, sound clear and crisp. I was still gasping for breath, floundering, but I was doing it knowing the shore was in sight, and one day, I’d get there.
Maybe Lex would even be there, toes in the sand, snakes bright on her skin, waiting.
“Okay.”
It took me a second to register Pierce was even there. That I was sitting on the same antique couch I sat on every night in the same apartment I’d had since second year. That nothing was unchanged but me.
I peeked through one eye at my boyfriend––ex-boyfriend.
“Huh?”
He smiled, a genuine one though it was small. “Okay, Luna. That’s cool.”
That’s cool.
It startled a laugh out of me. “You think?”
“I mean, yeah. It’s 2023. What do you expect me to say? Sexuality is a spectrum, and I gotta believe most people fall somewhere in the middle of either extreme.”
I blinked. “Even you?”
He shrugged, then dragged a hand through his hair so it stood in golden brown spikes all over his head. “I dunno, maybe. There was a guy growing up in Vancouver…” He trailed off, following a memory I couldn’t see. “Yeah, he was a good guy, and I thought maybe he was cute or whatever, but I didn’t do anything about it.”
He took my cold hands in his and squeezed. “Obviously, you’re braver than I am.”
My laughter shot out of me like machine fire. “You’ve got to be kidding. I’m such a sheep. It’s kind of embarrassing.”
He frowned and leaned closer. “Hey, don’t say that. The girl I know, the girl I’ve loved, is brave. She always sticks up for people and champions what she believes in. She’s kind to everyone, even people society judges. She’s honest.” His mouth twisted into that wry grin again. “Even when it would be easier to lie. All of that takes courage, Lune, and you have that in spades. You think it didn’t take some serious balls to come out to me just now?”
“No, that one took everything I had in me,” I confessed, squeezing his hands back. “The thing is, even though I don’t think we should date anymore, you’re still my best friend.”
“You’re mine, too. It might take me a minute to get over the urge tofuck you.” He grinned when I laughed. “But I’ll get there. You won’t lose me, yeah? Not if you don’t want to.”
“I don’t want to.”
