Page 33 of Flirting With Forever
No was on the tip of her tongue because the last thing she wanted was to spend more time with her boss’s gaze taking in her every action and reaction.
More time inhaling the heady scent of him or noticing the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled.
But she didn’t say no because the thought of going downstairs in the dark and listening to the howling wind and driving rain, to the phone alerts going off every few minutes, left her trembling with the awareness that she didn’t want to be alone.
But more than that? She didn’t want to be alone when she could be with him.
When had that happened?
The heat of his thigh pressed against hers, and Gage’s rock-hard shoulder gave her something safe and secure to lean on. Lending comfort just by his presence. A presence that threatened to overwhelm her struggling senses. “Looks like Cole will be in for a change in music.”
“Hold up, now. We’re tied. Unless the winner gets two out of three.”
“Go for it,” she said, trying to regain her scattered senses and a little equilibrium.
“I will. You ready?” He sat forward a bit and shifted to better face her.
“Bring it,” she said.
“I ran away once. I stole a golf cart and went joyriding. And when I was about fourteen, I wanted to be a monk.”
A laugh burst out of her, drawing a wider grin from him. “The last one is a lie. No fourteen-year-old boy would ever want to be a monk.”
Gage made a rude buzzer sound. “Nope. The lie was that I ran away.”
“Seriously? You wanted to be a monk? Why?” Nothing about him screamed monk or celibacy or any of the other identifying factors.
His gaze shifted, and he looked away from her. Sloane felt bereft and sensed whatever he was about to say, it was big.
“It seemed…easy. Easier,” he corrected himself softly.
“What do you mean?” She watched as he lifted a hand and rubbed it over his face as he grimaced.
“I was a stupid kid, and…life was stressful after our parents died. Money was always an issue. CPS constantly knocking on our door to check on us. Alec and Brooks worked themselves into the ground to keep us all fed, and Cole left to join the military to do his part to help out. I thought being a monk seemed like a good idea. A way to not be a burden because there’d be one less mouth to feed.”
His words trailed off, but the image was there in her mind. That of a boy thrust into a world where nothing made sense. Where parents died and left kids behind to fend for themselves, and every day held too much stress and difficulty. Vulnerability. “That explains so much.”
He glanced back at her. “Explains what?”
Yeah, that tone warned her to tread lightly with her next words. “Just you and your ever-growing list of income streams. They’re a…security blanket for you.”
He lifted a thick eyebrow high at her comment, and she rushed to explain. “The kid you were felt helpless. You were too young to work much, I’m guessing, but you saw it all, felt all the things that were out of your control, but now…you’re Mr. Money-Maker.”
“You make me sound greedy.”
“Not at all. Money doesn’t make you greedy. It’s a necessary thing we all have to have. But I think for you, it’s about controlling your life in a way you couldn’t as a kid.”
“Sounds like you studied psychology. Not accounting.”
She knew she’d said too much when his jaw locked and a muscle ticked along the side as he pondered her words. “I get that though,” she continued. “The need to feel free and capable and…safe. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“What would it take for you to feel safe?”
The question left her floundering for a response, even though she knew the answer. Roots. A home. A place and a person and a life that didn’t leave her feeling frightened. All wrapped in one thing—freedom.
“You can’t feel safe sleeping in your car, Sloane.”
She exhaled and nodded. “You’re right. And thankfully I haven’t had to do it often.”
