“If I hadn’t wanted it, I would have stopped it. I certainly wouldn’t have responded favorably.”
He started shaking his head vehemently. “Not like this. It’s not right… not right for us. No. Not like this.”
“Lazriel,” I said, moving to step up to him.
He held up his hand, keeping me back.
“My control is hanging on by a thread.”
“It’s okay, I—”
“You don’t understand. I’msecondsaway from unleashing on you. Hard, rough, and fucking brutal. Way more than a bit of dry humping against the wall. Can you handlethat?”
A coldness settled over me. Bleakness. Thatbarrierthat kept getting in the way whenever I even thought too long aboutsomething sexual. That fear attached to it, to being vulnerable and open in that manner.
“I don’t know.”
Those three words hung between us.
All too heavily.
And then he pushed off the wall. “All right.” He stepped out of the alcove.
It was happening again.
“Don’t. Stop doing this. Every fucking time!” I slammed my hands into Cassius’ chest and screamed at the top of my lungs, “Stop! Stop! Stop doing this to me!”
That nightmare slammed into me so brutally.
“So, that’s it?” I found myself snapping before I could snatch onto rational thought.
He jerked and spun back to me, his brow furrowing. “I hope to shit not.”
“It’s… what?”
“Is that what you want? To chalk this up to an error in judgment or something?”
“No. Of course not.”
His eyes lit up. “Of course not.That’s incredibly definitive.” He smirked. “Good to know. Really fucking good to know.” He gestured at the alcove. “Here wasn’t the right time. After your episode. Your magic sending my control to hell. Gotta start from a place of calm and control. Especially with howIam.”
“Okay.”
“Yeah?” He took a step closer, but noticeably didn’t breach my personal space this time. “So, you liked my hands on you? Or was it my big dick?”
I burst out laughing. “You’re impossible.”
He chuckled. “Thought that would take the edge off.” He cocked his head to the side. “It’s become very clear with thisinteraction that you actually do like the flirty, more brazen side of me. You really hid that well.”
I hid a lot of things well.
“It’s growing on me.”
He grinned. “Sure, I’ll let you have that one.” He held out his hand. “Come on. I’ll vamp-speed you to your dorm room so you don’t have to deal with those shitheads in the Grand Atrium.”
I stepped up to him and pulled the key out of my back pocket and held it between us. With a flicker of my magic, it activated, glowing gold.
“Lock’s opening,” he said. “Let’s get you there.”