Page 20 of Six
The guy in the car in front of us pushes his head out of the window to scream at Lori. And rightfully so—even though his language is more colorful than needed.
“The idea is not to let him know we’re tailing him,” I tell Lori between my gritted teeth, while he rolls down the car window just enough to slide his hand out, middle finger up and blue glittery polish shining under the sun. A gush of cold air enters the car, making me shiver. My puffer vest has a couple of holes in need of sewing.
Lori waves off my murderous glare while closing the window without even sparing me a glance. If he didn’t have such a silver tongue that gets him out of traffic tickets, they’d have thrown away the key to his cell already.
He snaps his fingers. “We need a memento!” He grabs his phone from the cup holder next to the steering wheel and holds it up in selfie mode with the two of us in the frame. “Say crazy stalker.”Click.
The shrillscreeeeof the tire wheel scratching against the edge of the sidewalk sends us both jumping. I’m pretty sure the judge would give me a very light prison sentence if he knew what pushed me to strangle my best friend.
“We are in need of a soundtrack,” Lori half-yells with fervor a moment later. “Siri dearie, stalker playlist, please.”
“Stalker playlist? Seriously?” I groan.
He waggles his eyebrows at me.
“Stalker playlist playing,” the cell phone’s virtual assistant replies after a few seconds.Really?
The dark and punchy sound of an electric guitar suddenly fills the car. Blondie starts singing “One Way or Another,” and I roll my eyes at the song. Lori, on the other hand, is nodding and humming along, enjoying how the car vibrates with every pulsing beat of the song.
I feel my eye ticking with annoyance. “Do you mind?”
“Not in the least, Edward.”
“Edward?”
“I think it’s Edward, or maybe Herbert.” Lori is terrible at remembering names. “The sparkly vampire from that chick flick. He’s fucking obsessed with a girl and even breaks into her house to watch her sleep. Would that be your next move by any chance?”
“I’m not obsessed!” I retort vehemently…too vehemently perhaps.
“Of course, you aren’t” he says in a clearly patronizing voice. “Now let me concentrate on following—in a totallyhealthyway—the bloke you sucked off.”
“I’d like to stuff all that sarcasm up your ass,” I bark.
“I can take a lot up there—a lot.A couple of guys can testify to that. But my supply of sarcasm won’t fit. It’s endless.”
“Don’t I know it, and I’d still like to try.”
“Kinky!” He shakes his narrow shoulders in a fake tremble.
I ignore his moronic act and crane my neck to keep my eyes on the pickup while it drives ahead, leaving Greater Grand Crossing behind. It’s a miracle Hulk hasn’t spotted us.
“Keep some distance, don’t want him to catch on to us.”
Lori nods but doesn’t slow down. Thank fuck there’s a car between us and his pickup.
“This is exhilarating, mate.” Lori’s practically jumping in his seat. “We are like Tarzan and Cheeta.”
If they were Jane’s stalkers.Wait, they kind of do follow her around the jungle. But that’s cute and acceptable because it’s a children story. I snort.
“Who’s the stinky monkey?” I know the answer already.
He sends me a longduhglance before the car swerves dangerously to the right and he has to return his eyes to the street.Fuck!My hand shoots out and grabs on to the silver glove box as my knuckles turn white.
“I can’t be Cheeta with this luxurious hair.” He points at his perfectly styled curls. When I keep silent—too busy praying to God and all the angels to spare my life—he adds, “What? You think I’d be a better Jane? Because I agree. Look at my tight booty-licious.” He lifts his ass from the seat and leans to the left, pushing his derrière my way.
I quickly grab the wheel and yank it toward me before the car crashes into the guardrail. “Are you trying to kill us?”
“Sorry,” he mumbles.
