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Gabe-Don’t care. Rague, why do you have so much acid in your car? What if the police stop you?

Rague-I have a construction and demolition company. And I’m an exemplary driver, no reason to be checked by the pigs. And acid is essential to me

Rami-Like water?

Gabe-I’m sorry I asked. I’m out

Rami-Gabe wait, you rusty hunk of metal!

Sari-There’s more?

Uri-Spit it out I want to go back to sleep

Rague-Is the couch in the lab that comfortable?

Uri-Why, Rague? Do you want to try it out?

Rague-You should go back home

Uri-I want to hear about Raph’s boy toy first

Gabe-Why is it every time you guys bother me it’s always regarding frivolous stuff?

Rague-If that’s true, Gabe, why do you keep answering us?

Gabe-To check you didn’t do anything idiotic

Uri-Raaaaami! Head, couch, sleep.

Rami-The boy toy is Michael Caldwell, the guy Meg has been seeing at the diner.

Rague-What?

Uri-Plot twist!

Gabe-No mystery there then. You already told us who this Michael is. But Raph is a suspicious fucker. It has to be one of his schemes.

Uri-Right, he’s getting close to the guy by pretending to like him to extrapolate information from him… that’s what I’d do too.

Sari-Or maybe Raph likes him.

Rami-And Sari wins a giant teddy bear!

The text exchange keeps going and going. I usually am part of the teasing and taunting, but I don’t like when they do it with Michael.

Me-He’s not my boy toy. Stay out of it and fuck you all.

I dial Rami’s number and he picks up after two rings.

“Yo, still boinking the doc?”

“The fact that you use the wordboinkingis proof of your very sad sex life,” I deadpan. “Do you know anything about a serial killer in Chicago?”

“Always nice to start the morning with such great conversation. But you need to be more precise.”

“Michael is doing forensic work for a Detective Diaz on a case with multiple murders.”

“‘Not Interesting’ my ass,” he mumbles. “And you want to know everything there is to know about it.”