Page 1 of Endlessly Yours
PROLOGUE
BROOKS
BEFORE.
“Brooks, sit down with me.”
“I can’t,” I said as I leaned forward and brushed at the little amount of peach fuzz on the top of her head.
Amara smiled up at me, that smile just as beautiful as the first time I had seen her all those years ago. We had been sixteen, the both of us waiting at the DMV for our driver’s licenses. We might have gone to the same high school, but it wasn’t as if I had known every single person on our campus.
And so, while waiting next to the girl with gorgeous blue eyes, blonde hair, and a retainer that she kept playing with, I knew that I was in love.
I just hadn’t realized it was a love that was unending and broken until it was nearly too late.
“You should sit.”
“I need to go get you some water. I’ll be right back.”
I didn’t know why this panic kept gripping my chest. It wasn’t as if this was a new feeling. A new state.
My beautiful wife, the woman that I had loved for over a decade, was dying in front of my eyes and I could not stop it. I used my hands to build things for a living. I constructed things. I made them sturdy. My goal in life was to make sure that what I built could withstand the test of time.
And yet, I could not keep my wife safe. She was fading before my eyes, and I could not just sit here and watch it happen. I needed to be doing something.
But there was nothing I could do.
“I have water. Come and sit down. We need to finish our show. And I want to ask you something.”
And because I honestly could never say no to Amara, I sat down next to her, my hip against hers as I held her hand and ran my finger along her jaw.
“Let me get you your scarf. Your head must be getting cold.”
She continued to smile up at me, and I did not like the look in her eyes. The resignation. The knowing.
Stage IV breast cancer wasn’t always a death sentence. That’s what they kept telling me. But her cancer was aggressive and had spread to multiple areas of her body. That’s what Stage IV was, after all. She had done multiple rounds of chemo and had lost her hair more than once. Now it was growing back because she was on radiation. The radiation that left burns along her body around her ports. The allergy she had developed to the adhesive having ripped off chunks of skin that were now being burned by the same medicine that was supposed to keep her alive.
I had no idea how Amara could do this. How she could keep so strong in the face of what was to come.
I was weak. Breaking inside, and yet my wife could withstand anything. That’s what she kept telling me.
My wife smiled at me, the dark circles under her eyes deepening. “Before we start the show, I want to ask you something.”
Again, I couldn’t say no to her. I never could before. And sure as hell not now. “What is it, Baby? What can I do for you?”
“You always ask that. And you always say anything. But I’m going to ask something very scary. Can you do that for me?”
I froze, the lump in my throat making it difficult to breathe. “What is it? I’ll do it. Anything you want.” As long as it kept her here with me, I would do anything.
“I really need you to think about this. I need you to promise me that you’ll think about what I’m saying and then promise me you’ll do it.”
“Just tell me, Amara. I promise, I’ll do whatever you say.”
“Don’t regret those words.” She squeezed my hand, and the energy sparked back into her eyes, the energy that I had been missing all these years.
Clawing panic squeezed my throat, but I tried not to let it show. I needed to be the strong one, because Amara was allowed to break down. She didn’t at the hospital, didn’t in front of her friends, but she was allowed to in front of me.
So I had to be the strong one.
