Page 41 of Endlessly Yours
I knew that talk would come soon. I had fretted over it all night, hence why I hadn’t slept at all. It was fine; I was just going to have to deal with it later. Because the girls came first. That was going to be the refrain for the rest of my life.
I set the fruit on the kitchen island, staggering.
For the rest of my life.
These girls were going to need me for the rest of my life. This wasn’t just a few months to get used to this new feeling. This would be college applications and moms and boyfriends. Weddings and moving out and college. This was beyond hurt knees and trying to make sure that they liked the color of their new comforter. This was a life. Three lives.
And I missed my sister beyond reason. Well, I had missed my sister long before everything had changed.
And I never got to say goodbye.
Realizing a tear had slid down my cheek, I cleared my throat. “Girls. Breakfast. Please come downstairs and eat. And then we can go over everything that we need to for the morning.”
The sound of socked feet on stairs echoed through the kitchen as Alice came down then, a smile on her face.
However, from the red-rimmed eyes and swollen cheeks, I knew that smile wasn’t truly there.
“Alice? What’s wrong?”
She didn’t say anything. Instead, her smile fell, and she climbed up onto the bar stool. “Nothing. Thank you for making breakfast, Aunt Rory.”
Her voice was so soft that I had to swallow hard so I didn’t cry right along with her.
“If you’re sure. I’m here if you want to talk.”
“I’m okay,” she whispered.
I ran my hand over her hair and caught my fingers in a tangle. With a sigh, I picked up the brush on the other table behind me and worked out the tangle as Alice ate.
“Do you want a braid, a ponytail, or do you want it down?”
“Can you do one of those crown braid things?” she asked, her eyes wide as she looked over at me.
I nodded. “Yes, but it might not be perfect. I’m still learning. Is that okay?”
“I don’t mind. Mom used to do them.”
I pushed another lump down my throat as I picked up the strands of her hair and began the braid.
“I remember. She would braid my hair too. She was always better at braiding my hair than I was at hers.”
“You look so much like Mom. And when you woke me up this morning, I thought it was Mommy coming back to tell me that everything was okay. But it’s not okay. Mommy and Daddy aren’t coming back. And I try to be a big girl. Because Cameron said only babies cry. But I miss them so much. And I thought just for that moment that they were okay. And that we were just visiting you. And then I felt sad because I don’t want to leave you either.”
Tears were freely flowing down her cheeks then, and I finished the braid before holding her to my chest.
“Oh, Alice. I miss your mom so much. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t fix everything. But I’m here. I know I’m not the same, and I don’t want to be the same. But I love you, okay? Do you know that? I’ve always loved you.”
“I know. Mommy used to whisper it… when Daddy wasn’t around.”
My heart squeezed as if in a vise, and I let out a shaky breath before pulling back to finish Alice’s hair.
“I loved your mom.”
“Because she was your sister, like Cameron is my sister. But I bet you guys were nicer,” she pouted, tears long gone.
“We fought. A lot. But we were also the same age so we had the same classes, and our mom kept dressing us the same.”
“I’m not ever going to be the same as Cameron.”
