Page 9 of If You Were Mine
And with that, a screaming void wrapped its skeleton-like hand around my neck and squeezed. I didn’t say a word, I couldn’t. Instead I turned to face the front and tried not to focus on the trees passing by, or the others going about their life as if the world hadn’t ended.
“I’m sorry, Harper. I wish I knew more.”
I reached out and grabbed his hand, and he squeezed it back. The man who didn’t like touch, who didn’t like most people, gave me comfort when he didn’t know if his younger brother was dead or not.
We made it to the hospital in a little over an hour, with our service spotty at best. Nobody had texted me or reached out. I had a feeling that Ms. Patty and Melody had ensured that none of the town would bother me. And that the Cages were all talking with Hudson.
But when we walked through the emergency room doors, and I saw so many of the Cages there, so many of Dorian’s family members, I’d never felt more alone.
I didn’t know who was dead—Joshua or Dorian.
I didn’t want to think about what would happen when I knew the answer.
I didn’t want to choose who I needed, who I wanted to be alive.
Amy, Dorian’s girlfriend, came forward and wrapped her arms around Hudson tightly before giving me a nod and going back to the group. Dorian’s mother was there as well, speaking in hushed tones to one of his brothers. I knew she had a complicated relationship with the rest of them, but right then and there, I couldn’t focus on anything but needing answers.
And then Aston Cage, the eldest of them all walked forward, and I knew. In that moment of peace before a shattered soul, the guilt, the worry, and the absolute pity on his face.
I knew.
My knees gave out, and Hudson was there, trying to keep me steady, and I screamed.
Because Dorian’s family was there. Nearly all of them, filling the waiting room to the brim. Because he had family. A big one. One that loved him with every single complicated and tangled relationship they had.
And I had lost the only family I had left.
And I ignored the part of me that screamed in relief that it hadn’t been Dorian.
Because my brother was dead.
And I let the darkness take me.
Chapter Two
DORIAN
~ One Year Later
“All I’m saying is that you have a wonderful house outside the city. And a perfectly reasonable apartment in the city. With a doorman and an elevator so you don’t even have to take the stairs. Not to mention my home has a space for you. I do not know why you need to stay and involve yourself with your brother and that woman.”
I leaned against the back of the armchair, rubbing my temples. Aston had decorated my guest room to be soothing while I recovered. Dark blues and grays, memory foam pillows and fluffy duvets. A walker in the corner. A medical tray to the side so my former nurse could change my bandages. The bandages and nurse were long gone, but the tray remained. Aston had tried to take it away multiple times, but I’d refused. I needed the reminder. The symbol. The dreams ensured I’d always remember. The fact that I would never be getting on a fucking plane again deserved something more than a forgotten time of healing.
Or hiding.
Yet I hadn’t hidden deep enough in the cave if the woman in front of me could so easily find and annoy me.
I loved my mother. I didn’t like her, but I loved her.
Perhaps it was only out of necessity some days, but sometimes my mother was a good person. Sometimes she cared for others. I would like to think that her incessant need to put me where she wanted me, and to control the situation, was because she loved me too. And wanted what was best for me—and wanted me to keep her secrets.
Only I had a feeling it was partly because she wanted to be a raging bitch and stick it to my brother Aston and his amazing and take-charge wife, Blakely.
My mother had it in for Blakely, and I still didn’t know why. Of course, a reason could be because one of my favorite people in the world, my sister-in-law, didn’t take my mother’s shit.
And yet here my mother was. In my room. And I had no idea why I even bothered anymore. I’d kept her secrets for years. I’d let the burden wear on me, stripping me of who I was until I was just the playboy the world thought I was. That went up in flames the same day the plane did.
“Mom. Leave off, will you?”
